eric ravenscraft - the books lyrics
[intro]
conclusion
wait, conclusion? what am i talking about?
there are, like, 64 books in this series and i’ve talked about maybe 5 tops
what am i missing?
[verse 1]
there was the time that rachel was allergic to a crocodile
and the time jake maybe kind of was a grown+up for a while
and elfangor sired his son by going full+on exophile
and visser three got sidetracked by technology most juvenile
when marco in the arctic morphed nanook the friendly polar bear
and visser three’s twin brother was a cannibal tech billionaire
and cassie scared off racist losеrs in the time of polio
and when shе accidentally made a hybrid human buffalo
when excess morphing mass caused them to rubber band through time and sp+ce
and jake and cassie beat howlers by finally getting to first base
when cassie became luggage and crash landed in australia
and when she must assassinate termitidae regalia
(…this is a lot of books)
[verse 2]
controllers started getting high on maple and ginger oatmeal
and rachel morphs a giant squid while crayak tries to cut a deal
tobias gets familiar with taylor and her brutality
and jake escapes the amazon by fracturing causality
rachel has to take the lead, her methods are quite overk!ll
experiments with cows try to eliminate human free will
visser three trapped tobias with a fake mom and tax attorney
and fish folk from atlantis dabble in some human taxidermy
rachel fought the helmacrons in marco’s bod while microscopic
taxxons made peace by becoming anacondas in the tropic
and so much more it’s arduous to chronicle, i must confide
all the homicide and fratricide and matricide and genocide
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