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eric schwartz - houston, we have a problem (shaving off my muff for you) lyrics

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your birthday is coming
don’t worry, i’m aware
i’ve been trying to find you something
just to show how much i care
but i just couldn’t tell
’til i bought that mademoiselle
now i know just what i’m gonna do
now i’m shavin’ off my m-ff for you

‘’cause lately when you love me
you’ve seemed a little cross
and then after, when you’re brushing
you refuse the dental floss
even when it was mint
but i can take a hint
now the only question’s one blade or two
when i’m shavin’ off my m-ff for you

my friends keep axin’ “girl, haven’t you tried waxin’?”
“or that depilatory cream”
my ex-friend katie lent me her epilady
and i found out how loud i could screeeeeeeemmmm

now there’s gonna be stubble
but darlin’, duty calls
so get down there on the double
if you want to keep your b-lls
‘’cause i scr-ped and i scratched
even had to pluck a patch
’cause even my mach three wouldn’t do
when i’m shavin’ off my m-ff
shavin’ off my m-ff
shavin off my m-ff for you

(“self bootleg” bonus verse)
no other woman is gonna shave as close
now my little box of funk
looks like a buddhist monk
and not like no chasidic jew
now that i’m shavin off my m-ff
shavin’ off my m-ff
shavin off my m-ff for you

- eric schwartz lyrics

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