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espo - insecurities pt. 1 lyrics

[verse 1]
you see i act like i have no f-cking problems today
but really it’s just me sitting here waiting until may
the 11th, which is the day that i’m gonna walk across the stage
grab my diploma, and smile, and mask the fearful rage
because i don’t know if i’m ready to leave
i really f-cking don’t
i’ve used college for 4 years now
as a way to say i won’t
i won’t jump into social norms
i won’t fall out of line
i won’t just let my grades drop
but yes i will please wine and dine

i won’t give in to constructs
i won’t say no to all my dreams
but i will be thinking some day
that there’s more to life it seems
because now i’m facing something
that’s not tangible, nor large
but i’m facing something today
that frankly, puts me right in charge
of my own destiny
it’s like i control my dying fate
wondering really at what point
am i too old? is it too late?
because there are no written rules
there is no formula to follow
you either succeed with all your p-ssions
or just wallow in your sorrows

but the power’s with the beholder
i can control it with my hands
i can mold it, shape it
and write the story regardless of other plans
you see it’s tough when the biggest enemy you face
looks at you in the mirror
wondering if you’re even good enough
and well, wishing that was clearer
and there’s always gonna be someone
who can sing better than me
they can rap faster, re-master
and they’re better looking than me
but the 6 man himself
helped me paint that in a better light
because it’s not about who does it first
it’s about who does right

[pre-chorus]
i said knowing how much hard work it takes
makes me work a little harder
because every minute i’m sleeping
there’s someone that’s getting smarter (go)

[chorus 1]
i’m with you
i’m with you

[verse 2]
and i really feel like
i’m out here doing it right
i’m working hard day and night
and i even bought a new mic
i write these clever lyrics
and take so many cool pics
to try to get my big fix
and put my name in the mix

i make so many d-mn beats
for people that i don’t meet
but i keep a stash of the treats
hidden from those that i greet
so i can make a mixtape
and my career can take shape
september 3rd is the date
that will determine my fate

i got the same type of brain
like the don lil wayne
couple seizures and pain
the pink pills keep me sane
the difference is i don’t sip
maybe i should cause it’s hip
but then my nerves they jump ship
and memories would just dip

you see i know when i know
and my plan is a full go
the answer never is no
just wait up for the big show
i got so much sh-t in store
but somehow now i’m still poor
i hope my legs don’t get sore
when i jump through that open door

[chorus 2]
i’m with you
i’m with you
is anybody out there?
i said, is anybody out there? (yuh)
is anybody out there?
i said, is anybody out there?

[outro]
i have wished a bird would fly away
and not sing by my house all day
have clapped my hands at him from the door
when it seemed as if i could bear no more

the fault must partly have been in me
the bird was not to blame for his key
and of course there must be something wrong
in wanting to silence any song

- espo lyrics

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