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esti mation - armor of childhood lyrics

there was a language spoken once
of fireflies and silver dust
we learned too quickly how the truth
decays inside the t++th of rust
the first lie wasn’t told to me
it was a weakness that i saw

and so the soft skin had to break
the fortress rose above the shore
i checked the locks on every door
and sealed the light i could not fake

i built a wall of silence, stone by stone
a cage of iron where the wonder died alone
i forged this armor from the pieces of the past
a defense mechanism meant to finally last
but the magic we choked out, the belief we burned to ash
is the only thing i miss now, within the steel and crash

i patrol the ramparts of my mind
where every brick is set with spite
the hinges scream a warning note
i never sleep, i only fight

my vision’s grayscale now, refined
to spot the fracture, the betrayal
i cannot hear the music anymore
just the scr+ping sound of iron hail
we sought protection from the fire
and traded shelter for the flame
now safety is a heavy word
and innocence a forgotten name
the cost was calculated, dark and steep
to conquer fear, you must forget how to weep
i told the inner child to crawl back down and hide
and buried wonder where the shadows ride

if i dismantle the heart of steel
will the core still be beating
or is there only dust inside
a vacant sp+ce, retreating
i keep the good things locked outside
thinking they are the enemy
but i was never meant for solitude
i only built this for me
i only built this for the void

the cost of safety
the concrete heart
i forgot the magic
and still the defenses stand

- esti mation lyrics

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