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ethan jewell - i’m feeling happy now lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t wanna write another sad song
yet every time i write a happy one it just feels wrong
i don’t wanna sing another sad tone
but when i plant a happy flower, i swear it never blooms
i tried to laugh the other day
but my mouth quickly shut, and the sound couldn’t escape
i tried to force my face into a smile
but my skin cracked, my muscles ached
because it’s been a while, since i let myself stop and smell the roses
i’ve been hunched over, head down, holding broken posеs
i can’t look you in the eyes, bеcause i took a bit too long
but now i’ve realised

[chorus]
i’m feeling happy now, i haven’t felt this in years
because every good painting got ruined with my tears
i’m feeling happy now
this emotion is so strange
i could only write sadness but i turned another page
i’m feeling happy now
god this is so weird, i thought i wouldn’t be happy until i’m old with a beard
i’m feeling happy now
i’m feeling happy now

[verse 2]
it’s like i’m floating high in sp+ce but there’s a crack in my suit
and i couldn’t find a place that i could fit in
because i didn’t know how to feel joy
depression is all that i’ve written
i’m in the clouds now, not quite, the thunder is still loud now
i pull my blanket over my head and take a few deep breaths
because i’m not ready for the day that’s coming next
(that’s coming next)
[verse 3]
and at night when it’s quiet, and my brain doesn’t have distractions
well my mind turns worse, my heart sinks and breaks to fragments
maybe i’m not doing quite as well as i think
the happy feeling is gone before i can blink
and i curl in the corner of my bed, i’ll cover my ears
but i still hear inside my head, a voice telling me
that i’m going to die alone, that i’m wasting all my time
and i’m better off on my own, cut off your friends
they don’t really even like you, they spend time with you
because they pity, and they spite you
tears flood my face, guess i’ll never be okay

[outro]
i thought that i was better, i guess maybe i’m not
but i’m doing so much better than i was last month. so i’ll just say
i’m feeling happy now, i haven’t felt this in years
because every good painting got ruined with my tears
i’m feeling happy now
this emotion is so strange
i could only write sadness but now i’ve turned another page
i’m feeling happy now
this is so d+mn weird, i thought i wouldn’t be happy until i’m old with a beard
but i’m feeling happy now
huh, i’m feeling happy now

- ethan jewell lyrics

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