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evan j - change it lyrics

wish i could go back, and make changes to the past
so that i can offset, all of this regret
conscience won’t forgive, i cannot repent
so part of me will forever resent
the part that made those dumb decisions
life’s a word doc with no revisions
i wish that i could change it
but alas, i just can’t

[verse 1:]
fifth grade got in-school suspension
and i was humiliated through that forced redemption
wish i’d known that middle school friends are fake
wish i’d started rapping ground like drake
had so much energy with which i could create
coulda become the colorado matt ox
have concerts at the denver black box
and i wish i could change, how back in eighth grade
when it came to the girls, i was a huge lame
i was trippin’ and simpin’, bitcoin’ bootl!ckin’
over girls that would never ever like me back
wish i was like thanos and i could just snap
my fingers and erase the mistakes that i made in the past
but i just can’t

[verse 2:]
and i wish i learned to stand up for myself
when they called me an autistic future incel
were like “d-mn i really f-ckin’ wish, that this stupid f-ckin’ ’tist”
“would just hurry up and slit, his useless f-cking wrists”
“so we don’t have to see your ugly face sh-t”
and i would just stand there and i would take it
their hating was a coin, i was the vending machine
i was trippin’ without sipping’ on any lean
and sometimes it really seems
i can’t go a single day without f-cking something up
moments where i feel so fed up
i almost wish i that was never born
because i feel so motherf-ckin’ torn
they say you only get one life, ay
but it cuts me like a knife, ay
all the stress and the strife, ay
but i gotta keep up the fight, ay
writing these raps is the thing that keeps me sane
writing these raps keeps me from losing my brain

- evan j lyrics

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