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even in blackouts - darkest days lyrics

i stood under the canopy at the cta station
waiting for him to arrive
i’ve had enough rain on my face again today
these drenched clothes and hand+me+down shoes can’t walk ten miles

he can’t see at night, can’t handle his aged car
the steering wheel vibrates, and there’s a hole in the floor
i can’t think of anything else
my head is full of decay
i’d have to say that these are my darker days
darker days

all of my life, he’s been maneuvering in and out of doors
i’ve watched him through windows, my fingers tracing goodbyes
now he can’t remember his name
he talks like he’s insane
i don’t think he’s ever seen darker days
darker days

i’ll be walking home today
he’s not coming anyway
he backed into a pole
tore the fender off, knocked the pole right down
they carted him away
police cuffs on his addled brain
am i concerned or ashamed?
this can’t be happening once again
in my mind i play it over and over again
days gone and years ago
was i concerned, or was i afraid?
i wonder every, every day
every day of my life
i wonder every day about his life
they were my darker days
they were his last days, too

darker days
dad’s gone away
our darker days
dad’s gone away

i’ve removed the canopy
i’m still alive
these drenched clothes and hand+me+down shoes will walk these miles
there’s much left unanswered, but i walk away
knowing that those were our darkest days
darkest days
darkest days
darkest days

darkest days
our darkest days
darkest days

- even in blackouts lyrics

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