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evolution control committee - sex re-education lyrics

-uh… remember the last time we talked about this old body part, bob?
-yeah. yeah, i remember, dad
-well… now, to begin with, it’s a, well… p-n-s
-yeah, i know that already, dad
-this organ is one of the most wonderful examples we have of how, well… like…

well son, to do anything knowingly to make it c-m is a very grave sin
-oh, i-i don’t getcha
-you know what happens when you stuff yourself with cake and c-kes until you’re ready to pop
-sure, i get a stomachache
-you bet! food tastes good, so that we be sure to take our vitamins each day. sperm, as the doctors call it
-oh, but dad, that’s wrong, isn’t it? i mean-
-and don’t let me catch you monkeying with mine for another couple of years here

but here’s the important thing to understand, now:
all those changes in our bodies, which make a boy into a man, er, it ejects a fluid which contains the seed, or the, uh, the-
-golly, dad!
-no no, [?]. well, what i’m talking about is… oh, one of these nights, before very long, you may find that sometimes before men are married-
-oh, um-
-in spite of modern medicine, nature opens a sort of, uh…
-well, you mean a-
-something like that. so… but…

-gee, our bodies are complicated, aren’t they, dad?
-uh-huh, you bet. more complicated than the biggest dynamo ever built
-oh, but dad, why do fellas get these…
-now that’s a good question, bob. to begin with, this-this business of… men begin to feel it occasionally, well, as soon as they start to grow up. but always remember this, son: i did, when i was a boy–you will, too
-golly!
-so… but, now here’s the important thing: sperm tastes good
it’s good! as long as it’s hard. get it?
-i got it, dad
-right

uh, you mind if i smoke in your room?
-oh, uh, no, dad!

- evolution control committee lyrics

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