expilled – sorrow ii lyrics
wake up every morning
say i’m ok i really wanna die
but i keep it on the inside
i don’t wear my heart on my sleeve
cuz i know everyone will see
what i hide on the inside ya see
started to feel depressed
when i was just 8
no one really knew
not even me
never went to therapy
no matter how bad i felt
i know theyre trained to help
but i told myself i could do it alone
mama never knew
why always wore a coat i’d say its ‘cold’
but she could never see though my lies i always tried
but in the end
it was all pretend
i always waited for all to end
tried to k!ll myself twice i’m only 14
way past midnight walking to the medicine cabinet looking for what pills will end this the quickest
took as many as i can i walked back to my room
awaiting my own doom
they didn’t work
got up went to cl-ss
acted as if nothing happened
but my wrist have less scars
than my heart
the second time i tried to end
grabbed a steak knife in the early am
put it in my bag
and went to school
when the last cl-ss ended i walked outside
and ran to lonely spot i knew
sent a text to my mom
told her i’d be home soon i honestly didn’t wanna die
so all did was cry that night in the end
i always stayed a fighter
and when it was hard i held my pillow tighter
now i keep chin high
and my hope will never die
so i keep my thoughts in their place
those memories are behind me now
but at the same time i wonder how
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