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expy - pushed me away lyrics

[verse]
since a kid, the church was prominent
survived a life threatening surgery, accomplished it
and it’s believed it was under god’s providence
my grandma prayed for a sign and she got the sh+t
so i’m a miracle kid
i wore it proud upon my skin like a flag on a ship
but when i hit about 13, everything switched
i started asking all these questions that i couldn’t resist
i f+cked up, opened up and i told my d+mn family
they went f+ckin’ manic and leaped, tried rehabbing me
but all that sh+t did was alienate
i didn’t say i was an atheist, but is that okay?
said i was stuck in the middle, they pushed me into the frame
best of intentions, but all it did was damage my brain
gotta bury all these demons i felt
can’t even be myself without gettin’ f+ckin’ pelted
compared to the previous generation
i think that i’m doin’ good minus the education
but f+ck, in old days, i only wanted to pray
then self+doubt set in and started pullin’ the fray
i think the church is what made what i am today
i saw so many angry faces that i had to stray
and sh+t, yo, it’s far from my mom’s fault
she only wants her son present up in god’s walk
i just wish that i could be accepted
without any inch or shred of rejection
wish i could talk how i talk so you see that it’s me
and not put this f+ckin’ front on to refrain from a scene
someday, i could have a change of heart, and i may
but it’s ironic that the strongest faith pushed me away

[outro]
someday, i could have a change of heart, and i may
but it’s ironic that the strongest faith pushed me away, yeah

- expy lyrics

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