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exxtra sick - forever (beat prod. puhf) lyrics

[intro: allan watts sample]
you don’t have to let go.. because there’s nothing to hold on to

[verse 1]
know i coulda been 13 forever but i kept it cool
remember cutting my wrists under the desks at school
and back then i had friends sayin it’s alright
stayed up talkin to strangers who felt the same every night
and back then it wasn’t hard to make friends my type
i met a guy from australia i swear he gave me life it’s been, what?
3 or 4 years since our last fight but
love you keegan, hope you’re doin alright

[verse 2]
coulda been 14 forever but i swerved a mistake with a bigger one
livin for love just isn’t that great
i fantasied about hangin myself up with measuring tape
but then he gave me a hug everyday

[verse 3]
and i shoulda been 15 forever way the bullying got to me
f+ckin with my head made me want a glock 9 lobotomy
but i had a teacher that really inspired me
and a f+cked up boyfriend curin the darkness inside of me

[verse 4]
16 forever was a risk and a half
but i realized me dyins not bringin my cousin back
and ion even know if i’d be by his side
so i just stayed up crying, smokin and talkin to him every night

[verse 5]
could of been 17 forever graduated and p+ssed
i went through h+ll at both schools, don’t know what my plan for life is
ion wanna get too deep into this but the ogre i was with made me wanna slit my throat and stab his

[verse 6]
18 wasn’t that much better
lost the love of my life and hoped my heart would unthaw out with the weather
but i ended up somewhere even worse
had my best friend worried that i’d end up in a he+rs+
and the only time i ever felt love from him is when he was defendin me from all these people that i didn’t need defendin from
but it left me isolated from everyone

[chorus]
remember sunny window days in that place
thinkin okay, okay all i need is a little sp+ce
just a minute
when he walks away i could leave this place, i could leave this place
this whole world i could f+ckin escape
i could leave this place, i could leave this place
this whole world and one shot’s all it takes

[verse 7]
basically had me on suicide watch and it’s funny all the things that he’d do in hindsight
said n0body could leave their lighter out, alright but
you were still being an assh0l+ to me you were still so abusive and f+cked up and see
in hindsight he says that i don’t accept anything that i don’t admit to anything
see that’s the f+ckin thing
i always did and you f+ckin didn’t and you know that
got me thinkin bout the sh+t you used to say throw back
bout your exes and how i wonder
were the really that crazy, were they that abusive?
or are you just an assh0l+ and you’re the one usin everybody around you
when he almost k!lled his sister i was secretly hopin i would go down to

[chorus]
remember sunny window days in that place
thinkin okay, okay all i need is a little sp+ce
just a little sp+ce
when he walks away i could leave this place i could leave this place
when he walks away away

[verse 8]
i’m an adult now and sometimes it feels f+ckin weird but i still recommend it if you thinkin bout not being here
i know it’s gettin heavy and you’re tired but just listen dear
you been here your whole life, right?
you can keep up the fight
you know you can keep up the fight
you know you can keep up the fight
it’s alright, it’s alright
you’ll be alright
you know you’ll be fine
you know you’ll be fine
i know you’ll be fine
it’s alright
you’ll be fine

[spoken outro]
f+ckin.. i hope that worked out this time. i’ve been working at this for like 3 hours and it keeps glitching. f+ckin half the songs gone, the beat.. but, f+ck it. oh well. finally done. f+ckin a so, february 2023 ayy. thank you. i love you guys

- exxtra sick lyrics

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