faced out - final nail lyrics
[verse 1]
your blue pools have walls too steep to climb out of
there’s not a ladder in sight
this chlorine smell constricts all of my nose hairs
can you please look somewhere else for the night
the floor here is sticky
i want to go home
some guy saw that i had cigarettes
now the f+cker won’t leave me alone
[verse 2]
tonight i’m getting lost in my camera roll again
and every second scr+pes past my rib cage as a part of a long metal pole
i can feel it at the front of the movie theatre ripping tickets
watching the clock recede into an afternoon crafted hole
i walk over to oasis on a folding table
i open my mouth to pour another drink
if you heard that my stomach got pumped tomorrow
it triggers my reward system to wonder what you would think
[verse 3]
i sometimes imagine that you have this ability to see through my eyes and observe what i’m doing at any moment and i wonder what you would think of me within the context
like when i’m driving home late from work and the florescent glow of a fast food chain logo off an interstate exit illuminates a fresh burn mark on my wrist
it’s comforting to imagine that you’d wonder how i got it and that would care
or when i’m rehearsing music from our first record
the same songs i’d play for you alone way back in junior year of high school about an archetype of a dysfunctional suburban high+school relationship i had to make up because you didn’t give me anything sad to write about
i wonder if you would still like them as much as you did then
i wonder if you would still worry that they’re about you
sometimes i figure you wouldn’t see much at all
as i bury myself in my pillow at 8:00 pm on a friday night
resigning myself to dissociate as i get smashed and pinned between the elephantine waves of distorted bass on a microphones record
you’d see my feet are unlit charcoal in my ankle socks
you’d see every second scr+ping across my rib cage
pinning me to the bed
i wonder if you would still worry about me
even though i’m not your responsibility
even though we rarely talk
even though i’ve had ample time to move on
even though every time i interact with you, i have an out of body experience for three days
you’re woven into the tapestry of my life
into a section that’s violet and warm
you’re woven into the tapestry of my life
though i think you’ve left it torn
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