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fanaticus - 11-the day after tomorrow lyrics

part 1
awkwardly harboring judgments of what the audience sees
insecurities testing me. when confidence is all i see
hard to believe that i got it when they saw me for someone i thought i was
but i wasn’t who is above. sad is the truth
sad is the proof, i couldn’t find my proof, you was there and then poof…
confidence left with you. confidence left the truth abrupt with no remorse too
i’m sick of lying to myself, don’t know what i’ma do
when i was alone i’d look for you to recluse
you’d think i’m bulletproof from all the shots i took from you, man f-ck you….d-mn…

i’m always breathing while hoping that i’ll stop pleading
and asking where you went, p-ssive aggressive anger pent up
can i smoke this blunt? and forget everything that did happen?
and i guess lose all my reputation, hypocrite i could and i would be but i couldn’t
peer pressure holding me to a standard of losing
my friends are only tryna bring out the person i couldn’t
while music tryna be my friend and bring out who i wanted
what i wanted, freedom. ohhh maaaan i wanted freedom
it seems so pleasing to walk around with no ties to treason
light skin, dark skin, man we all black skin
martin didn’t die for us to make a divison of our kin, and
you know how many n-ggas doubt that i’m black because i have blue eyes?
and that i’m persecuted because i talk white?
that i ain’t a brotha because i don’t know the struggle, right?
f-ck y’all, small sh-t is real sh-t. i cl-ssified myself a lost cause because i didn’t fit in
ripped in and out, torn apart i couldn’t shout
my loudest cry to them was even more appealing man these m-s-ch-stic f-cks
can kiss my -ss and keep it moving
the amount of unnecessary because i was different
makes me scared and empathetic for those who had it worse than me…
it’s hard to see when i’m blinded by the media
it’s hard to be when n-ggas tellin me to come smoke this blunt
respect the fact that my edge is straight for a reason
the future needs a guide to show them how to live without the poison
of cream, gotta get that money. sell yourself to get that money
legal prost-tution is to sign a contract that’s removing
all of who you are, so you can be a product that they consuming

are you used to who you’re becoming?
they eatin’ lies, why you wanna feed em lies?
thought you hated being lied to. so why’d you lie too?

i find it rude you hypocritical f-ckin lunatic. blood on the leaves
they use ya blood as the ink. now you knee deep and while you sink
you got the 5 stages of grief. deny the action you speakin
get angry at those who tweakin’ tryna get you out
but you too stuck up like a dollar amount
be angry at ya d-mn self, because of you we never did doubt
but you lost our trust, and now you know ya time is up
and now bargaining. actin’ like i’m harboring a part of you
oh wait, when you left your decision was all on you
tryna tell me i was a part of you? but since you left i knew i was thru
and i thought you knew it too. i see it in your soul
the depths of the emotion that you felt man it left you so cold
i couldn’t say i didn’t feel it too. but when you at a crossroads
you gotta do it for you
was that when you realized there was nothing you could do?
to salvage what you tarnished when you did recluse?
i guess it’s a mistake you gotta learn from
if not now, when? the future we all spend the time
imaginin’ what it could be it could be like so perfect
but what’s the purpose if we ain’t preparing for our present

part 2
spokenword

why is my ident-ty so hard to see, why can’t i see you for who you are to be?
why is it that we’re blind to our personality?
why do i walk invisible with my own disease, an appet-te to be ethical?
asking questioning unethical, being ugly yet my mental strong
i don’t matter if my looks are wrong. humbled p-wn
i keep my hand in my pocket; i stay silent, just watching i’m never schemin’ stopping
holdin back my dangerous weapon cuz they ain’t ready, my tongue is stronger than many
my heart stay on the petty, that weak homie a teddy bear
but never scared, universal fear is non-existent
hard to listen if these words don’t come with an 808 kickin’
homie’s try to blackball me because i continue to fight
and all these haters stand up and don’t even know what’s right
a constant plight that me and my people continue to thrive
complicated weather that we flyin thru but it’s aight
turbulence and poison kept my homie’s prayers uneven
while i pray for him, hopin that he make it thru the seasons
the power of greed will bring you to a place that’s on ya knees
pleading for forgiveness as you ask the lord to help you see
through the money trees, money brings
unwanted guests who try to clean my thoughts
with currency i think i’d starve
but they force feed me to stop me from speaking
f-ck that it’s treason, just call me ghandi i’m pleading
for peace while protesting poor reason
keep wishin that these suckas will test me
but me is only as we because we stand as one nation under god
one nation under those who protect us, hats off to all you protecters
y’all keep me rested
yet i’m still vexed up
while i’m messed up
pickin’ up the pieces tryna get dressed up for my future it’s brighter
than i could ever conspire to be inspired is to be hired by a
spectral force that’s higher than all of us, and to me that’s alive and i’m grateful homie

- fanaticus lyrics

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