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fascinating aida - cheap flights lyrics

we received an invitation in the post one monday morn’
to attend our cousin’s wedding in the town where we were born
the do was back in kerry; so wishing to be frugal
we trawled the ‘net to find some decent travel deals on google

cheap flights, cheap flights, cheap as they can be
bedad we found an airline selling flights for 50p
(diddly aiden daidin daidin dai)

well we cl!cked on to the website and were mightily surprised
to find the actual cost wasn’t quite as advertised
we’d forgotten airport taxes, had also to be billed
but a bargain is a bargain and begorrah we were thrilled

cheap flights, cheap flights, stanstead to tralee
it isn’t every airline offers flights for 50p
(diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (x3))

after studying the website we decided it was best
to pay priority boarding so that we’d sit three abreast
(three abreast, that’s the best)
and of course we’d all have luggage, so that’s an extra cost
and then we paid insurance in case our cases might get lost

our cheap flights, cheap flights, it’s obvious to see
there must be extra charges when the flights are 50p
(minya, minya, minya, key change)

at last the flight was booked, with all of the additions
we’d read the reams of smallprint, of terms and conditions;
and then picked up the charge for using visa which was drastic
’cause how the f-ck are you supposed to pay if not with f-cking plastic?

cheap flights, cheap flights, we paid the f-cking fee
because by now we were committed to the flights for 50p
(diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (3))
(someone’s being diddled and it’s us, so it is)

(-ochone, ochone, aah . . . )
now i don’t know if you’ve tried looking at stanstead on a map
but checking in at 5am is a f-cking load of cr-p
it’s packed if you try to catch a train or underground
so a taxi to the -rs- in the world was more than 100 pounds

cheap flights, cheap flights, we should have gone by sea
there’s no such f-cking thing as a f-cking flight for 50p
(f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ck, f-ck, f-ck (x2))

then at last we reached the airport where we had to pay a fine
the f-cking f-ckers charged us ’cause we hadn’t checked in online
and finally aboard the flight there’s an extra cl-ss of tax
’cause the f-cking f-cking f-ckers f-cking charge to use the jacks

cheap flights, cheap flights, i think you must agree
that only f-cking gobsh-tes think there’s flights for 50p
(f-ck, sh-te, f-ck, sh-te, f-ck, sh-te, -rs-)
(f-ck, sh-te, sh-te, f-ck, f-ck, sh-te, -rs-)
(f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ck)
(f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckity f-ckty f-ck)
(f-ck the sh-gging “cheap flights” b-st-rds)
(f-ck the sh-gging, f-ck the sh-gging, f-ck the sh-gging b-st-rds)

sad verse
well finally we landed and tried to shuffle up the aisle
but the steward sent us down to the back with never a hint of a smile
and as we heard his annoucement our hearts gave a terrible thump
(thump)
if you haven’t prepaid to use the steps you’ll have to f-ckin jump

cheap flights, cheap flights you’re harking on to me
you’re an eejit (idiot) if you think a f-cking flight is 50p
f-ck

- fascinating aida lyrics

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