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father guido sarducci - st. ann seton lyrics

you have quite a few american patron saints now, huh? quite a few americans now are saints. all in the last five years or so. the first one, her name was saint ann seton. and there’s a lot of people, that are still real upset at the vatican about that. you see, to become a saint into the catholic church, you have to be able to prove four miracles. that’s the rules, been the rule for hundreds and hundreds of years. but this saint ann seton, they could only prove three miracles, but the pope — he just waived the fourth one. just waived it! and you know why? (why?) it’s because she was american! (yay!) what do you mean, “yay”? we got some italian people, they got 40, 50, 60, 70 miracles to their names… they can’t get in, just because they say, you know, “already too many italians are saints.” and this saint ann seton, american — three lousy miracles. i understand two of them was card tricks. next thing you know, they could be making the amazing kreskin a saint. saint amazing kreskin, they’ll probably call him

- father guido sarducci lyrics

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