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fightmarker's rap battles - dead meat vs the nostalgia critic lyrics

rap battle!
dead meat!
versus!
nostalgia critic!
begin!

nc:
h+llo and welcome to another old vs new
outplayed horror guru or the pioneer of youtube?
14 years strong making producers look like losers
you obsess over k!ller’s crimes like a teenage tumblr user
roll the camera! time to actually start moving it for once
cuz you stay stuck in a single place despite your love for stunts
tally up our moolah, james, mine clearly outweighs your few
cuz people remember me so they dont have to know you!
dm:
uh…hey, viewers! this fight doesn’t feel fair
im trending while walker’s channel’s now stuck in a wheelchair
you suck at doing musicals, what makes you think you’d ball in rap?
when they’d use your awful wall review as one of jigsaw’s traps!
you’ve lost touch, you’re not anything above campy
you don’t like doug funni ’cause he reminds ya what ya can’t be
and with the laws you abuse, no wonder suits got ya cancelled!
where’s the fair use? we’ll find it by changing the channel!
i’m outrunning looksee and on crypttv
your biggest scene was in to boldly flee!
now the truth is revealed and after your fame passes
we’ll see you played a manchild who’s the same behind the glasses

nc:
you think the nc’s gonna take that sh+t? oh please, janice!
you must be drunk for the diss+neys you’re throwing at me
it won’t take much for that guy with the mic to snuff out your candle
a master of wits and skits against some glorified reaction channel!

dm:
hate to break it to you, but that loud screaming doesn’t phase me
you’d only make me shudder if you fiddled with the ac
you’re crazy to think our name’s fit, cuz your channel’s dead meat
while mine is thriving, just another james you could never beat
nc:
you’d have to go frame by frame to find the decent disses in your verse
call it “lets get to the bills” when you sell out to the adverts
started off acting in commercials, wonder for your loss of gigs
you turned to counting k!lls online? social mediasochist!
your videos put me through more pain than michael bay could produce
not even satan would punish me with this much abuse
obsessed with wrestling, but when you try to swing, though
you’ll drop the ball so hard, you’ll go “my f+cking thing broke!”
i’m covering all kinds of films, i’m a critical expert
you avoid k!ll counting movies cuz they take too much effort
go ahead and try making it as an actor, you’ll never reach that goal
when i do looksee next i’ll only make fun of your parts, assh0l+!

dm:
i thought your skits fell flat! but your verses flopped harder
haven’t seen a failure this bad ever since your kickstarter
try giving fans what they want, it won’t keep your channel afloat
cuz counting your career mistakes would be my longest episode!
let’s get to the numbers, this ratio’s all over the place!
seems your dull machete of subs, couldn’t top my social blade!
if i had to give a golden chainsaw, it’d go to your death, no doubt
an exposing doc’s a nice way for a channel to go out!

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