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fiyero + elphaba - the best pies of london lyrics

“the best pies of london”

(mrs. lovett, spoken)
ah, customers! come in, come in!
what’s yer rush? what’s your hurry?
you gave me such a—fright
i thought you was a ghost
half a minute, can’tcher? sit! sit ye down!
sit! all i meant is that i haven’t seen a customer for weeks
did you come here for a pie, sir?
do forgive me if me head’s a little vague—

(sung)
ugh! what was that?
but you’d think we had the plague—
from the way that people—keep avoiding—
no, you don’t!
heaven knows i try, sir!
yich!
but there’s no one comes in even to inhale—
right you are, sir. would you like a drop of ale?
mind you, i can’t hardly blame them—
these are probably the worst pies in london
i know why n0body cares to take them—
i should know, i make them. but good? no
the worst pies in london—
even that’s polite
the worst pies in london—
if you doubt it, take a bite
is that just disgusting? you have to concede it
it’s nothing but crusting—here, drink this, you’ll need it
the worst pies in london—
and no wonder with the price of meat
what it is when you get it—never thought i’d live to see the day
men’d think it was a treat finding poor animals wot are dying in the street
mrs. mooney has a pie shop—does a business, but i’ve noticed something weird—
lately, all her neighbors’ cats have disappeared
have to hand it to her—what i call enterprise
popping p+ssies into pies—wouldn’t do in my shop—
just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick
and i’m telling you them p+ssy cats is quick!
no denying times is hard, sir—even harder than the worst pies in london
only lard and nothing more—
is that just revolting?
(tobias, sung)
oh, mrs. lovett, your pies are quite the sensation!
i’ve sampled them all—beef, mutton, and… other variations
but tell me, dear mrs. l, what’s the secret ingredient?
the flavor that lingers, both sinister and expedient?

(spoken)
mrs. lovett, i’ve been curious, you see
is it the spices, the herbs, or something more devilish?
i’ve heard rumors—the whispers of the streets
and i wonder, as i chew, if it’s true what they say

(sung)
the worst pies in london, they call them
yet i find myself craving another bite
the mystery, the thrill—it’s intoxicating
so, mrs. lovett, won’t you share your recipe tonight?

- fiyero elphaba lyrics

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