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flora elmcolone - i want to have a garden lyrics

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i want to have a garden lyrics
looking out the window
i can see the neighbor’s yard
playing with their children
they’re like a greeting card
the woman sends condolences
the man says “get well soon”
the brother has his birthday
on a perfect afternoon

where do i fit in?
what would my card say?
the buyer, not receiver
of “happy mother’s day”

somewhere in between
a mother and a daughter
before you’ve learned to swim
you are thrown into the water
both distant horizons
so very far from either
when does temporality
let you take a breather?

i see my life in pictures
shown 20 years from now
sitting in the hallway
of the house i’ve bought, i don’t know how
i want to have a garden
but first i need a yard
my apartment has a stairwell
with pretty iron bars
and i wanna fall in love
but first i need to know
will this sadness ever leave me?
am i ever gonna grow?

i wanna be a picture
or a slogan on a card
and i love the city skyline
but still, i want a yard

sometimes on the bus
when i’m on my way to work
i read a touching book
with a secretive smirk
and i feel just like an actress
on someone else’s screen
the performance of a lifetime
this is my favorite scene

i wanna be a character
that someone wants to be
every role i play
becomes a part of me
panoptical illusion
validates my hunger
for a storyline where i’m
always five or ten years younger
i feel a deep discomfort
with being in the present
it just feels all too temporary
all too unpleasant

i wanna be a character
or a slogan on a card
i wanna be a picture
that i look at in my house that has a yard

- flora elmcolone lyrics

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