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flummox - oh, possum lyrics

marsupials with a rodent’s paw & face
consume the scr#ps scr#pped from your plate
dumpster diver & street survivor
trash day is the only day to die for

o # it’s silent

disney makes it look so easy, prehensile tail that hangs high from trees
black beady eyes with a rabies immunity
i’ll eat anything at all, ticks are a delicacy

o # oh, possum

i scream at my own ass

i’m not good at seeing things real far
headlights flashing from speeding cars
my limbs & entrails scr#pped across the blackened scorching gritty tar (roll)

the opossum is a member of the marsupial family of the order didelphimorphia. they are the largest order of marsupials in the western hemisphere. didelphis virginiana, or the opossum if you will, holds a plantigrade stance: meaning their feet stand quite firmly on the ground. they have an opposable digit on each claw, & like some primates, a prehensile tail with which to cling onto the branches of trees # but not upside down! no no no no no no no no no!

that is a common misconception: opossums cannot hang upside down by their tails, nor should they ever be hung inside of a plexiglass box, & suspended into the air by a bunch of rednecks in north carolina on new years eve. why would you do something like that, clay logan? they’re just trying to help out & eat all of your ticks, you f#cking b#st#rd! i f#cking hate you clay logan you f#ck! how would you like to be hung up in the cold winter air as a time ball, b#tch? you wouldn’t like it, would you? godd#mn you clay logan, i f#cking hate you clay logan, i f#cking hate you you f#cking c#nt!

where was i? oh yes, possums. now the possum has a gland in its #n#s that produces a smell resembling that of a rotting corpse. they use this in their famous ruse of playing dead. like their cousin, the kangaroo, the female opossum holds her young in a pouch until they are ready to live on their own. funny thing about the female opossum, for indeed she has 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 nipples! 13 of them # i’m not lying about that. there’s 12 arranged in a circle with one directly in the middle. the male opossum is not without his custom traits either, for you see he has a forked p#n#s bearing twin glands. this is so he can acquire double, sometimes triple, & on kinkier nights, quadruple the amount of opossum p#ssy

it is also a proven fact, that when the opossum is frustrated, when he is angry, when he has had it up to here with the entire godd#mn world; he bends over & points his snout between his legs. and with beast eyes full of fire, he opens his wide, gaping, foaming jaws & that’s when he screams at his own ass. he screams at his own ass

i can’t see things really far
headlights flashing from speeding cars
my limbs & entrails scr#pped across the blackened scorching gritty tar

i’m just a misunderstood marsupial, & here is my deal
one man’s trash is another creature’s meal
i’m just a scavenger & a hunter when i need to be
& i’ll probably never contract rabies
i’m just an opossum & here’s what i have to say
don’t mistake me for dead, it’s all a play

- flummox lyrics

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