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footprints in the custard - dick pics lyrics

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home alone with just my phone
and two or three bottles of wine
you know that chicks like d#ck pics?
i’ve heard it on the grapevine

whip it out, it’s short and stout
and looking a bit worse for wear
but on instagram i can filter#spam
to make it a more cl#ssy affair

close up with macro on
the way dangles from several angles
resting on some bags of fun
wide lens to fit it in
the inner sheen of a nectarine
glistening with remnants of c#m

supplied
through satellites to you against your will
magnified
a bulbous dong in mid#windmill
you can’t hide
it’s just a fl!ck of your thumb away
a barrage of fleshy snake soufflé

broadside
twenty guns of manliness explode
inside
your phone is full of sweaty chode
squint#eyed
stares you down and makes you sick
i’m sending drunk pictures of my d#ck

i’m super drunk and i’ve snapped my junk
now i bet that you’re wanting me
and i’ll rejoice that you’re super moist
and ignore it if you disagree

close up with macro on
the way dangles from several angles
resting on some bags of fun
wide lens to fit it in
the inner sheen of a nectarine
glistening with remnants of c#m

supplied
through satellites to you against your will
magnified
a bulbous dong in mid#windmill
you can’t hide
it’s just a fl!ck of your thumb away
a barrage of fleshy snake soufflé

broadside
twenty guns of manliness explode
inside
your phone is full of sweaty chode
squint#eyed
stares you down and makes you sick
i’m sending drunk pictures of my d#ck

why’ve you not replied?
replying was implied
i sent you pics of sack
so you would love me back

i snapped up my womb broom
so i could make you swoon
these pics i will regret
when i find them on the net

supplied
through satellites to you against your will
magnified
a bulbous dong in mid#windmill
you can’t hide
it’s just a fl!ck of your thumb away
a barrage of fleshy snake soufflé

broadside
twenty guns of manliness explode
inside
your phone is full of sweaty chode
squint#eyed
stares you down and makes you sick
i’m sending drunk pictures of my d#ck

supplied
through satellites to you against your will
magnified
a bulbous dong in mid#windmill
you can’t hide
it’s just a fl!ck of your thumb away
a barrage of fleshy snake soufflé

broadside
twenty guns of manliness explode
inside
your phone is full of sweaty chode
squint#eyed
stares you down and makes you sick
i’m sending drunk pictures of my d#ck
i’m sending drunk pictures of my d#ck again



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