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footprints in the custard - gail platter (ready, steady, fuck) lyrics

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ready
steady
f#ck!

a respected celebrity
is not who i’m meant to be
cookery and sodomy
feels so right for me

kidnap helen worth
from coronation street
take her back to my kitchen
to tenderise her meat

i am ainsley harriet
a well known chef and meme
but f#cking and cooking soap stars
has always been my dream

start f#cking!

i’ve got all my ingredients
in these paper bags
red tomatoes, green peppers
stuff them up her #ss

some might say the garnish
is pushing it too far
but i will make her wetter than
richard hillman’s car

stuffing her with spicy meat
the aroma is divine
can f#ck, will f#ck gail platt
than cook and serve with wine

i am ainsley harriet
a well known chef and meme
and serving a gail platter
has always been my dream

stop f#cking!

gail platter
gail platter
gail platter
gail platter

gail platter
gail platter
gail platter
gail platter

- footprints in the custard lyrics

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