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footprints in the custard - merlin in berlin lyrics

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in the distant future of the year 1945, a portal of purple light opens in the sky
king authur has sent merlin through time to destroy a tyrant that threatens our very way of life
join us on a tale of love and vengeance, where nothing is what it seems
merlin must bring down adolf hitler’s robo#n#z# empire, close the rupture in sp#ce#time and restore freedom to the galaxy forever

landing on his feet in a stance#of#glory
facing berlin’s streets of blazing#fury
yeah, he’s f#cking cool
without hesitation the mecha#hun are on him
firing laser lugers and blitzkrieg#a#bombing
ha, so what?

merlin stuns the axis horde with a lightning flash from the skies
and uses mecahmedes, his robot owl, to take their f#cking eyes

merlin # hunting down the n#z#s # in berlin
merlin – magic in their faces # in berlin
merlin # in leather on a war bike # in berlin
merlin # f#cking up the third reich #in berlin
he’s a bad#ss wizard motherf#cker

dealing out some kick#ss n#z# karma
breaking them in half with his robot#armour
he’s a silver haired fox
sick##ss magic that’ll surely entice you
taking out schutzstaffel with fire and ice, yeah!
smooth as f#ck

wearing ss officer skin, merlin infiltrates their ranks
summoning forth truman & churchill in giant spider tanks

merlin # riding in on lightnin’ # in berlin
merlin # magic’s kinda frightnin’ # in berlin
merlin # taking down the fuhrer # in berlin
merlin # saving mankind’s future # in berlin
magic rambo, motherf#cker. yeah

do my b#lls smell like hitler
do my testes reek of fascism
does my scr#t#m whiff of the signs of mankind gone wrong
do my b#lls smell like hitler

well… no…

but if they did…

then my pants would be alive with the sounds of genocide
and my gonads would burn with a blitzkrieg from which you can’t hide
my b#lls would incite racial hatred and randomly attack poland
causing britain and france to step in and sh#t to hit the fan

wait what the f#ck am i saying
even if my b#lls did smell like a dead fascist dictator
which in itself is extremely f#cking unlikely i mean, who the f#ck would even know
and why would the smell of my b#lls make me act like such a d#ck

what did hitler even smell like?



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