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for esmé - doubtmouth lyrics

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well i almost choked on all the doubt
as the words were trying to leave my mouth
i was taught to be polite
lately it seems
that’s just another word for keeping quiet
feels a little one sided
though i’m always trying to deny it

and i can’t subsist on swallowed pride
living half out loud, feeling half alive
can’t exist alone in my mind
with my head nodding
and my mouth just smiling

too tired to tiptoe between
too much this and too much that tonight
too bright a light
to be dimming myself down for you

well i couldn’t keep my anger down
and i watched as i lost all my ground
i thought p-ssion was a virtue
but it seems like that’s only true if it’s coming from you

and i can’t subsist on swallowed pride
living half out loud feeling half alive
can’t exist alone in my mind
with my head nodding
and my mouth just smiling

too tired to tiptoe between
too much this and too much that tonight
too bright a light
to be dimming myself down for you
too tired to tiptoe between
being nice and being right tonight
to bright a b-tch to be dumbing myself down for you

he said it sounds like you’ve got something to prove
and i said maybe
maybe baby i do
maybe baby i do
maybe baby i can’t subsist on swallowed pride
living half out loud feeling half alive
can’t exist alone in my mind
with my head nodding
and my mouth just smiling

- for esme lyrics

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