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former child stars - child stars on your television lyrics

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{marion ross]
former child stars are people too
they’re the same
as you and you and you

[florence henderson]
so, we ask this simple question, how can it be
that you occasionally
don’t respect their dignity’

[marion ross and henderson]
cause as they make their way through life
long after the spotlight’s faded
there are things some of you do
that make them want to be sedated
[choir]
we loved being child stars on your television
but please stop giving us cr+p
or we’ll have a head+on collision

[maureen mccormick]
thank you for letting me in your living rooms
to entertain you before bed
but if one more person calls me marcia
i’ll bust his f+cking head

[choir]
she’s very grateful, just like she said
but please don’t call her marcia
or she’ll bust your freaking head

[dustin diamond]
hey, i’d rather be called marcia than screech!

[butch patrick lily]
so, i’m sitting alone in arby’s
i get questions that make me see red
(hey eddie! where’s herman munster’)
well pal, for ten years he’s been dead

[charlene tilton]
they ask, “hey lucy, where’s j.r.'”
come on, y’all, be realistic
[erin moran]
one more “hey, joanie, where’s chachi” and i’ll go ballistic!

[choir]
our costars are not on our speed dial
so please don’t ask
or we’ll take that phone and shove it
right up your dumb fat ass

[barry williams]
no, we don’t ride in fancy limos
private jets, they’re not for us

[mike lookinland]
so, you may see us driving neons
or riding the greyhound bus

[barry williams]
yeah, we live just like all of you
so don’t call us losers

[barry williams & mike lookinland]
or we’ll punch you with so many rights
you’ll be begging for lefts

[chris knight]
and beggars can’t be choosers!
[jeremy miller]
ahhh

[leif garrett]
i was on teen beat with michael jackson
now he’s bigger, i suppose (yeah, yeah)
though he may be a multi+zillionaire
at least i still have my nose

[choir]
at least we’re not crazy
we don’t sleep with chimpanzees
we don’t bleach our skin
or dangle babies from balconies

we loved being child stars on your television

[tony dow]
but misbehave and we’ll bust your head

[ernest thomas]
gee, wally, was it something they said’

[choir]
child stars on your television

[haywood nelson]
most of us have nothing to lose
so, we’ll put your b+tt on the 5:00 news

[choir]
child stars on your television

[corey feldman]
we don’t know karate, but we do know crazy

[corey haim]
we’ll beat you so bad, your future will be hazy

[choir]
child stars on your television

[barry livingston]
don’t ever say, “didn’t you used to be…'”
or i’ll put your head through a vintage tv

[choir]
child stars on your television

[adam rich]
eight rehabs isn’t enough
but i’ve done and seen the most k!ller stuff

[choir]
child stars on your television

[todd bridges]
you want an autograph but i’ma tell you this
don’t ask a brother when he’s taking a p+ss

[choir]
child stars on your television

[fred berry]
you can dance like me, you can dance like mickey!

[jeff conaway]
i’ll hurt you real bad, you can take it from kenickie

[choir]
now of course we’ve been kidding
this has all been in fun
we’re happy you still love us, after our shows have gone

but please just follow our simple rules

[gary coleman]
or we’ll beat you like rented mules…(hah!)

[choir]
we loved being child stars on your television
(child stars)
child stars!

- former child stars lyrics

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