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foxal - purpose lyrics

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yeah,
sometimes i feel like i’m climbing to the top of a broken ladder.
serving up silver on a golden platter.
pitching a fastball to an absent batter,
and cleaning off gl-ss that’s already shattered.

pitting myself up against the hatred and laughter,
people telling me that i’m not a “real rapper”.
tellin myself that what you think about me don’t matter.
because these ain’t your dreams, i’m chasing after.

i’m just looking for purpose, some meaning or fate,
wondering why every single dream that i’ve chased,
came close enough to taste but then, slipped away.

i found my meaning in the simplest of things.
i put the tip of a pen to my paper and my brain grew wings.
i found that i love this feeling, and all the things that it brings,
i found my calling in a room full of beaten down dreams.

sp-ce stations they’re disguising as stars,
choose to be a light in a world full of dark.
i thought i loved a girl but realized that we’re better apart,
but at that moment didn’t know if it was my brain or my heart.

my soul is here for you to take it or leave it,
i see by the look on your face i know that you can barely believe it.
you thought you knew me before i started making all this music,
i knew i wouldn’t be an artist until the moment i choose it.

how come we’re all afraid of our own flaws?
people tell me the world’s just dogs eating dogs,
trust me, my man, you don’t want none of these jaws,
i’ll bite ya face off and then i’ll pause for applause.

it’s hard to find meaning, that’s what i know.
how’s a girl supposed to feel worth something when y’all calling her a hoe
to her face,
just so you feel better about yo own mistakes.
wondering you look in the mirror and see someone fake.

so say what you want, just know that i stopped listening.
at the end of the day, i know that i won’t be missing ya.
in fact,
why am i wasting these lines even taking the time to write about someone
like you?
i don’t know.

i may be different.
and you may not like it.
but imma stay this way.
even despite the way you say that i been changing lately feeling like
you’re out the loop
but the loop is full of lack of truth the things you hear aren’t who i am,
that’s why i write.
to take a stand to show you all that i’m the man!
now it’s time you play your hand let’s run it back, to where it all began.

i don’t remember.
was it in july or some cloudy november or september?

if there’s one thing that i wish it’s that i could be a better son,
a better brother to my sisters better in all that i’ve done.
if you’re listening just know that my times just begun
it’s funny how you can be freezing standing right beneath the sun.

have you ever had so much to say that you spend all day wondering if you
should stay or if you should go your way?
cause i have.

i found my meaning in the simplest of things.
i put the tip of a pen to my paper and my brain grew wings
i found that i love this feeling, and all the things that it brings,
i found my calling in a room full of beaten down dreams.

you’re staring like i’m wearing all my clothes inside out.
if only you would’ve given me the benefit of the doubt.
i doubted myself first and look what i’ve found.
i don’t need drugs to get high when i float right off of the ground.

i don’t look down anymore, i’m not afraid to fall.
i got a focus so hard boy, call me adderall.
she knows that i love her, i know that’s why she never calls.
you fighting some petty sh-t, i’m fighting for a different cause.

i started discovering myself as i grew much older.
found that over time it feels like my heart grew colder.
i remember the first time, you cried in my shoulder.
it felt like the time around me started going much slower.

i found my purpose deep within myself.
i realized that if was a book i’d be way up on the third shelf,
slowly rotting away, but then one fateful day,
i picked up a pen and started writing my story, my way.

now i can’t stop writing, like i’ve found my true calling.
planted my feet down realized that i’ve been free falling.
all the time that i wasn’t creating, i was just stalling.
if my life’s gonna be a fight i’m gonna be out here brawling.

it’s gonna be a journey, but i don’t feel nervous.
i’ve spent way too much of my life feeling worthless.
it’s up to me to find my own living purpose.
with every rhyme i write i know i’m just scratching the surface.

- foxal lyrics

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