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foxx bodies - vixen lyrics

[spoken]
i’m almost fifteen and it’s been two weeks since school started. mr. woolsey asks me trivia questions about the beatles every time we’re around one another. so, i think of any excuse to get near his desk. because knowing the answers to his questions makes me feel… less alone? more useful? i don’t know, i’m goal orientated so if there’s no goal in front of me i’m completely lost. and i don’t feel lost around him
he calls me a vixen…i don’t know what that means

[sung]
why did you do that?
why do i feel guilty?
how could you do that?
why did you pick me?

[spoken}
by the end of november, my dependence on mr. woolsey’s attention is beginning to fuel nearly every decision that i make. i shave every morning before school, i sleep five hours a night so that i can talk to him when our families are asleep. i rack my brain for anything that i can do to shock him, keep him interested
he calls me ‘his little vixen.’ now, i know what that means

[sung]
why did you do that?
why do i feel guilty?
how could you do that?
why were we ever alone together?

[spoken]
the day after christmas he sends me a text saying that he thinks we will definitely end up f+cking each other. hearing this gives me a clear understanding of how to keep the game going; take the next step + prove him right
rules are made
rule number one: don’t tell anyone
rule number two: don’t fall in love
rule number three: do not tell anyone
for the next three years, i do anything that he wants me to do. i feel… adopted. i fall in love…i lose my friend…i fill with guilt…i get trapped in a game. i don’t tell anyone because he says he’ll k!ll himself before going to prison. i don’t tell anyone because i would lose my best friend. i don’t tell anyone because then people will know. that i’m a sl+t. a homewrecker. a vixen
[sung]
why did you do that?
why do i feel guilty?
why does she hate me?
i was just a baby!

[spoken]
i move away, gain perspective, and age. he tells me that he misses me, and reminds me that he’ll be forced to k!ll himself if anybody finds out about us. years go by, and my skin is scarred by blades, flames, and lashes… i throw up and starve when i feel worthless… i ask myself if he made me this way, or if he’s doing it to someone else. and i question if he actually loved me and seek out the truth
the next time he looks at me, i can see straight through him. in a courtroom after twelve hours of questioning and revealed s+x tapes, after understanding what it all really means…
now, i call myself a vixen. and not his
no, i call myself a vixen, because i am cunning and clever and terribly difficult to deceive

- foxx bodies lyrics

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