frank zappa - fembot in a wet t-shirt lyrics
act i
scene five
the wet t-shirt contest
after a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
toad-o’s road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, mary is dumped in miami.
with no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the wet t-shirt contest at the br-sserie…
ike:
looks to me like something funny
is going on around here
people laughin’ ‘n’ dancin’ ‘n’ payin’
entirely too much for their beer
and they all think they are
clean outa-site
and they’re ready to party
“cause the sign outside says it’s wet t-shirt nite
‘n’ they all crave some hot delight
well the girls are excited
because in a minute
they’re gonna get wet
‘n’ the boys are delighted
because all the t-tties
will get ’em upset
‘n’ they all think they are reety-awright
‘n’ they’re ready to boogie
’cause the sign outside says it’s wet t-shirt nite
‘n’ they all crave some pink delight
when the water gets on’em
their ninnies get rigid
‘n’ look pretty bold
it’s a common reaction
that makes an attraction
whenever it’s cold
‘n’all of the fellas
they wish they could bite
on the cute little nuggets
the local girls are showin’ off tonite
you know i think it serves ’em right
you know i think it serves ’em right
you know i think it serves ’em right
you know i think it serves ’em right
and it’s wet t-shirt time again
i know you want someone to show you some t-t!
big ones! wet ones! big wet ones!
at this point, father riley (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to miami and changed
his name to buddy jones) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a wet t-shirt contest emcee…
buddy jones:
ah, thanks, ike…
yes, it’s wet t-shirt time again
here at the br-sserie… home of the t-ts… huh huh…
and it’s the charming mary from canoga park
up next in her bid for the semi-finals…
hi, mary… howya doin?
having been f-cked senseless by the boys in the crew, mary does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory bas-m-nt during which she acquired her basic manual skills
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