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frank zappa - uncle bernie's farm lyrics

i’m dreaming . . . (oh no-o-o!)

there’s a bomb to blow your mommy up
a bomb for your daddy too
(ouch)
a baby doll that burps & pees
a case of airplane glue
a hungry plastic troll
to scarf your buddy’s arm
a box of ugly plastic things marked:
uncle bernie’s farm!

there’s a little plastic congress
there’s a nation you can buy
(i’ll take two)
there’s a doll that looks like mommy
she’ll do anything but cry
(i seen her)
there’s a doll that looks like daddy
he’s a funny little man
push a b-tton & ask for money
there’s a dollar in his hand
(check his wallet)

we gotta send santa claus back to the rescue mission
christmas don’t make it no more
don’t you know that murder & destruction
scream the toys in every store
(think this’ll sell in new york?)

there’s a man who runs the country
there’s a man who tried to think
and they’re all made out of plastic
when they melt they start to stink
there’s a book with smiling children
nearly dead with christmas joy!
and smiling in his office
is the creep who makes the toys . .

fz:we got this car: when it hits the wall you see the guy dying . . . you got the little plastic puddles of blood that you put up on the car
i’m dreaming . .
ray: and his intestines . . . you have plastic intestines you can stuff back into his stomach . .
fz:there’s this other thing, i’ve got bombs. i’ve got rockets, i’ve got a . . . i’ve got a stilson wrench & plastic br-ss knuckles . .
ray: and it comes with a tape recorder with sound effects . . . screaming and crying
fz:we got a ’39 chevy . .

- frank zappa lyrics

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