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fred vernon - when there isn't a girl about (1907) lyrics

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poor old robinson crusoe, he led a life of misery
there on the island he knew not what to do
no girls there with loving eyes
to talk to him and sympathise
there on his lonesome things felt awfully blue
one night, whilst he was making up the bed
he turn’d to poor old mister friday, and he said:

[chorus]
when there isn’t a girl about you do feel lonely
when there isn’t a girl that you can call your “only”
you’re absolutely on the shelf
don’t know what to do with yourself
when there isn’t a girl about

mister brown was a bachelor and living in apartments grand;
one christmas evening he sat there all alone
just above his head you know
there hung a kind of mistletoe
he stood beneath it then he gave a groan
no sweet maid was near at hand alas!
then to himself he whispered in the looking gl-ss:

[chorus]
when there isn’t a girl about you do feel lonely
when there isn’t a girl that you can call your “only”
you’re absolutely on the shelf
don’t know what to do with yourself
when there isn’t a girl about

green aboard of a “p and o”
meant to see the world, you know
and for a fortnight quite enjoyed the trip
he’d everything that he required
everything that he desired
still there was something missing on the ship
one day he found what was missing, so
he murmured to the captain, when he went below:

[chorus]
when there isn’t a girl about you do feel lonely
when there isn’t a girl that you can call your “only”
you’re absolutely on the shelf
don’t know what to do with yourself
when there isn’t a girl about

binks the bobby was on his beat
looking for a snug retreat
but all the servants were snug between the sheets
all the clocks were striking four
and barred was every airy door
binks seemed deserted, so did all the streets
feeling chilly, he crouched against a wall
then shouted to the man who kept the coffee stall:

[chorus]
when there isn’t a girl about you do feel lonely
when there isn’t a girl that you can call your “only”
you’re absolutely on the shelf
don’t know what to do with yourself
when there isn’t a girl about

- fred vernon lyrics

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