fried rice - thanks for listening, now fuck off lyrics
[gunshot] [gunshot]
[verse 1: fried rice]
natural selection, b-tch
got an erection in this b-tch
can’t be quick when i write this sh-t
cause i fight for it like atticus finch
when i jump i never fall
p-ss cut short or i’m too tall
we long distance working this out
we far apart like chance eyeb-lls
so get off these f-cking b-lls
i need spaghetti and meatb-lls
sneakin’ through safeway in aisles
cause this b-tch got sh-t on file
you’re irrelevant like fetty
clarke’s got shooters on ready
syllables all flow steady
just block me if you feel petty
i’m hating all your tracks like the antwon fantwon
gotta rant on, can’t long, my verse is f-cking timed
the purse is f-cking dimed, quarters, dollars and nickels
when i stomp you on the curb, better giggle cause it tickles
gotta call her a b-tch’ll, probably send her crying
whole family’s f-cking dying, god d-mn, bad timing
i’m sorry, i’ll send you too into cardiac arrest
have a party after this, slim, i’m hardly bad at this
him, zim, invader, m-st-rb-t-r
saying all this crude sh-t, just a little more bait her
on a cruise ship, holding hostages
holding mossy t-ts, like that moana monster b-tch…
[interlude: fried rice]
that was f-cking stupid
alright, yeah
iced tea memes
[beat change]
[interlude: fried rice]
it’s chipmunk season, it’s iced tea memes season, it’s hentai season, it’s yeezy season, man, it’s every f-cking season, it’s thanksgiving b-tch, f-ck it. f-cking chipmunk garbage—danyael’s a f-cking meme, he wants to have as much sh-t in here as possible. f-cking never letting him ever produce this sh-t again. here we go
[verse 2: pridemore]
who the f-ck is you callin’ a meme? your -ss just got suspended
and you still play off your days of shame by going onto reddit
or is it g*nius? man, i can’t tell
your career pique? did it really fail?
i speak of truth, finna say the facts
you drop 2 tapes yet all of them wack
10 months on break, gonna cut the slack
we steal the ball, gonna run it back
you writing down rhymes while i’m making sounds
mix cheese and spice to the quarter pound
for all the flavors and customers sake
by willing and ready, i’m able to break
through beat chronically, but hold up
for a second though, you never saw of me
but for all of it, you always heard the beat
kept the heat alive, biologically
don’t lie to the truth, shot it down like a cop
now thanks for listening, but go f-ck off
[interlude: fried rice]
a lot of people tell me that i’m a soundcloud rapper. b-tch i’m not a soundcloud rapper—hold on, i’ma take the filter down—b-tch i’m not a soundcloud rapper, you see me using soundcloud? h-ll naw, i put this sh-t on itunes, bro, i don’t f-ck with no soundcloud. yo f-ck it, you see those features? it’s iced tea memes season, b-tch, f-ck it. if you’re listening to this in a car i want you to roll your windows down. roll ’em, turn it all the way up. know it’s probably raining and sh-t, pacific northwest, sh-t weather, but f-cking do it anyway. do it anyway. if you at home listening to this, show this to your mom. if you don’t have a mom, show this to your dad. if you don’t have a dad…
[beat change]
[interlude: fried rice]
sh-t that’s rough. this goes out to the kids who don’t have dads. here’s the alb-m credits, f-ck it
[verse 4: fried rice]
call me trap lord yet i don’t make trap
f-ck graduation, let’s just make meme rap
i’m not an atlien, i’m more of a madvillain
getting all the p-ssy, like it’s f-cking pink season
iced tea memes season, even though it’s slime season
in the heat of cruel summer there ain’t no reasonable doubt
but the clout of the powers that b
courtroom old ones won’t let me be
views from the courtroom, take care of me
oxxy’s a moron, not an oxymoron
suspended for 10 days, then i had to mourn
ready to die, then again i was born
this my life after death, no god d-mn. man
bottomless pit, but it ain’t the end of day, man
speedin’ bullet 2 heaven, i’m angelic 2 the core
rhetorical sh-t like i bought the money store
xxx, got a text from my ex-military
this my beautiful dark twisted fantasy
what a time to be alive, i’m up high, canopy
i’m fried rice, name the f-cking food after me
and i sound pretty nasally, like the shady lp
and i’m doing this verse just to stretch the lp
the perfect nut blaring from the speakerboxxx
screaming “f-ck you (oof)!” through the motherf-cking aux
then you’ll be sucking on some c-cks like the f-ggot flower boy
boy who cried wolf, that’s me in april
but i marched d-mn forward and got pretty stable
i marched d-mn forward and got pretty stable
can’t be a college dropout if i don’t even go
but i been working on this business since a few years ago
i’m an aries, and he’s a vertigo
not an aquemini, but sick ergo
i was born a year after chronic 01
nowadays i relapse, man it ain’t that fun
on probation, got all eyez on me
me against the world, a flaming f-ggot mc
i’m a f-cking creeper, but i do it for the culture
i’ll bite you like a wolf and eat a f-cking vulture
i’m a dangerous woman, all-american trash
made a heinous footing, all my merits are brash
i f-cked a turkey in 193 and crashed
and f-ck goblin, that sh-t is f-cking trash
it’s quite a rodeo when i’m eating oreos
me chewing nilla wafers while doing dilla donuts
jay dee or jay-z, mapping out the blueprint
3, 2, the volumes, any one
it’s a hard knock life when you’re ain’t “number one”
in search of pharrell, he will get it done
pridemore’s the motherf-cker who’s seeing sounds
while i’m the motherf-cker that’s making rounds
my mental breakdown was an atrocity exhibition
no one can do it better with this much saturation
they be aquemini, we’re veries, ergo
this for the memes there we go
[interlude]
we, the jury, and the above in [?] action find the defendant orenthal james simpson not guilty of the crime of murder, in violation of [?] section 1-87a; a felony upon nicole brown simpson
[verse 5: cracker j-p]
i’ma come through with the mile high, we know
trucking all the haters, knowshon moreno
i got that flow, ya its soso
can’t keep a beat right, i need that slomo
drop that mini crow, speaking nevermore
a bad omen, prophecies of spicey lore
dropping dimes everywhere, on the cliff hanger
you better watch your back, cause i’m the hit maker
luscious locks, the asian ron baker
you can call me papi, cause i’m your real maker
bye baby rocky- put to sleep are my haters
ham like musashi, legendary creator
spoiled tomatoes, off brand rator
going on a tangent, write it down with some paper
ha, rhyming scheme, game is so weak
like my first essay, so bad i got an e
got that mellow feel, a cup of darjeeling
whipping all the other rappers like my name robert lee
got the nerd game strong, jeremy lin
why your gpa so thin? go ask your kin
was that burn too fire? innocence
but like rodney king, benefits
spitting uranium 235
time for a spicey plutonium rhyme
ya you know i ain’t stop that hiroshima grind
gonna leave you hanging like a napalmed behind
gonna cause a riot, u.s. emb-ssy
don’t kneel for the anthem? learn your history
this so called propaganda, news to me
even fox news, is starting to see
through all the buzzfeed blue fantasies
made by social justice femin-z-s
that fat lipped blondie, rivals rocket man
in the number of tricks he got up his tiny hands
time for a paul ryan healthcare plan
screw over supporters, ‘cause i can
put extra taxes on the alb-m for the poor fans
so d-mn ignorant pr-nounce it iran
come here little boy, hop in my van
so innocent and childish, like comic sans
blowing up mosques, spread the scent of cooked ham
just out of spite, i kissed another man
call it g-y, bi, trans, keep it in the fam
half-white shepherd while you act like a lamb
we out
[james dinh]
if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be ent-tled to financial compensation. mesothelioma is a rare cancer caused by asbestos exposure caused by mills-
[andrew breuer]
sara, what the f-ck? you actually just ran away
ow! don’t hit me!
[sara walters]
i’m sorry
[andrew breuer]
oh, d-mn-
[ava lathim]
wow, wee
[sami friesen]
hey? how’s it go-
[xonfrence]
oof! ow, my -sshole, that stung
[dylan]
i’ve been the weenie hockey champion ever since i was 8 years old
[clayton lukens]
my nama jeff
my name is jeff
[fried rice]
i’m so used to writing things in minor keys…
[froster]
i’m falling major…
don’t do this
please
[eric]
yeah, we late?
[nick daddy & fried rice]
suck a d-ck
alright
[piper dunn]
your music is sh-tty, and you smell like beef
[lucky olsen]
g-y sh-t, you little f-cking f-ggot, your music sucks, go suck a d-ck, uhck!
[jacob jonason]
f-cking p-ssy–ss b-tch, i hope you get your f-cking kneecaps smashed in, and your f-cking rap career dies. -coughing- oh, do you hear that? even f-cking thinking about you makes me f-cking sick, i hope you actually f-cking, like, fall off a cliff and die, i legitimately hope both of your f-cking kneecaps get shattered, i honest-to-god hope that both of your parents don’t love you and one day they tell you that and you actually commit suicide
[tayler shega]
kids in the hood always talking about, “fried rice ain’t this, fried rice ain’t that”, shut the f-ck up!
[the mark stevensons]
yeah, hi
yeah, graa! pa-pa-pa-pa! yeah
pa-pa-pa
pa-pa-pa
uh
[beat change]
[interlude: the chute]
risotto doesn’t know it yet, but what he decides upon in the next few minutes determines the fate of the omniverse once and for all. risotto pavarotti is by no means the chosen one to save the omniverse, but he absolutely does have some spicy memes that will do the world a favor. tell danyael adding percussion for no reason is f-cking stupid
[bridge: jimmie f. rodgers]
why must i meet you in a secret rendezvous?
why must we steal away to steal a kiss or two?
why must we wait to do the things we want to do?
why, oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why?
[interlude: the chute]
a war is coming. the beginning of the ugandan warlord’s evil plan is already taking place. steve jobs looks down upon this world with concern, but knows that things might just be okay. but is it worth it? for all the bloodshed, for all the injustice? there are theories as to why the omniverse is this way that man has conceieved. it is all but a simulation, they say. it is all but a game, they say. but what do you see after the end? where’s the thrill in it if i just spoil it all for you? i’m the chute. if you don’t like it then i’ll come down to earth and eat your -ss. b-tch
[bridge: jimmie f. rodgers]
wish we didn’t have to meet secretly
wish we didn’t have to kiss secretly
wish we didn’t have to be afraid
to show the world that we’re in love
[interlude: the chute]
it is but unrequited love. it is but puppy love. and at the same time, it is a very insatiable thirst for satisfaction in order to escape from this painful life. life is f-cking garbage. but what can you do to escape the burdens of living? sp-cew33d? crack? lsd? memes? lean? xannies? p-ssy? whoa, my voice gets kinda weird when i say p-ssy. p-ssy? p-ssy? p-ssy? p-ssy? p-ssy? haha, i’m autistic. yo, let rice and pridemore know if you want an instrumental version of the alb-m so you don’t have to hear my annoying voice over this sh-t. p-ssy? p-ssy? p-ssy?
[disclaimer: pridemore]
here, lemme just turn you down, chute. it’s pridemore, the main producer of the project you just heard. just letting you and anyone else that hears this knows that though some elements and events in iced tea memes are inspired by a few in real life, oryza and -ssociates, along with everyone who made a contribution to the making of this project, have and had no intention of slander or violence, nor the promotion of slander or violence. everything that you heard or will hear from iced tea memes is as fake as them yeezys, and anything that felt offensive cannot be taken seriously, as it is just an iced tea meme. if you have made it this far and have ignored the reminder to stop listening, then you have spent an hour of your life on straight up garbage sh-t. so, congratulations, and, welcome
[ad-lib]
cory in the house
[bridge: jimmie rodgers]
’til we have the right to meet openly
’til we have the right to kiss openly
we’ll just have to be content
to be in love secretly
[interlude: the chute]
risotto returns to school with something lovely on his mind. it is an omen for memes. he stubs his toe on his way into the building, still displaying his awkwardness. but his awkwardness does not matter anymore. every time he tripped on the stairs, every time he told a joke and no one laughed, every time he only got 13 laps on the pacer test. it is time for the true test that will make him a legend. what will he do? his coat waves in the autumn winds. welcome back, risotto. what are you going to do today? catch up on your homework, perhaps? what is your plan?
[bridge: jimmie rodgers]
’til we have the right to meet openly
’til we have the right to kiss openly
we’ll just have to be content
to be in love… secretly
[makarov]
remember, no russian
[gunfire]
[skit: clayton lukens and skylar derthick]
okay, we’ll take that into consideration
but how about something, i don’t know
something not so stupid
hey, what’s your name?
[bleep]
i mean, i like to know the people i do business with-
[bleep]
[outro: spongebob squarepants & patrick star]
and we’re gonna party ’til we’re purple!
oh, i love being purple!
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