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from ashes to new - change my past lyrics

[intro: danny case]
it never goes away, i’m always looking back
am i ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

[verse 1: matt brandyberry]
feeling a type of way ’bout the past that i run from
night and day fade to black when i’m undone
i feel lost constantly exhausted, double+crossed
still haunted by the monster i once was
and when the sun’s gone and there’s no escape
i feel the darkness take shape and show face
there’s no place, i never feel safe
there’s no change, hope fades, and i’ll never be okay
never be the same, but i always feel close to
losing everything, it’s almost like i’m supposed to
i chose you, let you in and gave you a home to
become a part of me, but now i’m looking to ghost you
i hoped you disappear, but you’re attached
i painted the mirror, i tried breaking the glass
i see my face in the cracks, a refraction, i’m abstract
can’t run from the past, but i’m keeping my bags packed

[chorus: danny case]
it never goes away, i’m always looking back
am i ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?
i’ll never be okay, i’m seconds from collapse
am i ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

[verse 2: matt brandyberry]
gone is the vessel, now there’s nothing inside me
and god and the devil are the voices behind me
but they lie, designing blue skies
while they guide me to a pasture where n0body will find me
down a road that i’m hoping to steer through
to a home i thought i left in the rearview
to a weird room, nothing to peer through
doors shut, curtains drawn, n0body can hear you
all this time i’ve been holding myself hostage
my hands tied and a blindfolded conscience
brainwashed and overly cautious
i’m talking to myself in the cell that we’re locked in
a situation, i’m dying for some relief
negotiating the terms for my release
i find keys to set myself free, then history repeats
nothing can save me

[bridge: danny case]
and i would be nothing without you
and all that you made me
and i would be nothing without you
and how you destroy me

- from ashes to new lyrics

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