fugees - chinese restaurant skit lyrics
customer: yo, let’s go to this next chinese-muslim joint. we could get some shrimp fried rice and make salah at the same time
customer: aight, cool
restaurant guy: (humming) (sings) you are not alone …
customer: ey yo, ey yo chang w-ng, what’s up
restaurant guy: i’ll be right out. right. wait. one second. okay, then. fine. your order
customer: lemme get, um, lemme get two of them beef fried rices over there. lemme get a half a chicken wing. don’t put that little r-t-rded leg in it —
restaurant guy: — right —
customer: — just cut that off. don’t put no onion in my white rice
customer: yo yo yo. i need four chicken wings fried hard and sh-t
restaurant guy: what’s this? hold on? what’s this? the two of you? at once? okay, then. you want beef
customer: no no no, we want beef to eat. we got no beef
customer: i want four chicken wings fried hard, n-gga, what the f-ck is you talking ’bout
restaurant guy: all right. i’ll kick your monkey -sses my f-cking self
customer: whoa whoa, what are you coming over the counter for?
restaurant guy: you think i open a restaurant in the middle of the hood and don’t know what’s going on? i f-cking represent
customer: i’ll f-ck you the f-ck up
restaurant guy: i will avenge my brothers by representing and whooping your -sses, word is bond
customer: this ain’t channel 5, n-gga, somebody gonna die
restaurant guy: okay, then. i will show you flying fist of judah.
customer: you ain’t gonna show me sh-t
restaurant guy: that’s right
customer: i’ll show you these nuts
restaurant guy: you and you
customer: straight from mortal kombat
restaurant guy: you’re just talking. obviously the two of you are just b-tch–ss n-ggers
customer: n-gga, well then do something, you talking all your bullsh-t
customer: so what’s up, so what’s up?
restaurant guy: all right. this is a chinese restaurant, but like burger king, have it your way.
(punching noises)
customer: ah! this n-gga here …
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