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full blown meltdown - clinical trials lyrics

[verse 1]
i am but a number now
a statistic in a file
they study me and they stare
while i sit there and i smile
because i’m losing my grip
on a false reality
take your drugs and go away
go away and leave me be

to be anywhere but here
to be somewhere all alone
as a man who has a name
not a picture on a phone
not a number on a screen
not another employee
not to live my life a slave to those who pay my salary

[chorus]
for once in my life
for once in my life
for once in my life
for once in my life

[verse 2]
i am a redundancy
vestige of society
i refuse to find a reason for
my mediocrity
it’s a sickness in my head
i’m impossible to help
by the time i’m dead, at least
i’ll make a martyr of myself
kin to stagnant water pools
i’m the patron saint of pride
i’m a monument to failure
and success at the same time
i’m a picture on your phone
with a number to my name
when you call, i won’t pick up
and hopefully something will change

[chorus]
for once in my life
for once in my life
for once in my life
for once in my life

[verse 3]
i heard the chemists and the pharmacists had a break through
they made a compound, a new drug that makes you someone new
i don’t know of the side effects, i might even drop dead
but lobotomies, the only other choice that i have

what if i already took it, you know they guarantee
one pill is all it takes to up and forget everything
fresh memories, old friends, a brand+new personality
is there a way to tell if this is even the real me?
[bridge]
i heard the chemists and the pharmacists had a break through
(do you feel it? do you feel alive?)
they made a compound, a new drug that makes you someone new
i don’t know of the side effects, i might even drop dead
(do you feel it? do you feel alive?)
but lobotomies, the only other choice that i have

what if i already took it, you know they guarantee
(do you feel it? do you feel alive?)
one pill is all it takes to up and forget everything
fresh memories, old friends, a brand+new personality
(do you feel it? do you feel alive?)
is there a way to tell if this is even the real me?

[interlude]
all i want
is to try
try and feel
feel alive again

all i want
is to try
try and feel
feel alive again
[outro]
(for once in my life) i am but a number now
(for once in my life) a statistic in a file
(for once in my life) i am but a number now
(for once in my life) a statistic in a trial

(for once in my life) i am but a number now
(for once in my life) a statistic in a file
(for once in my life) i am but a number now
for once in my life

- full blown meltdown lyrics

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