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funkmaster flex - if i get locked up lyrics

[intro: dr. dre]
check check, one two, one two, one two (yo, it’s rollin’?)
yeah yeah yeah, dr. dre up in here, y’all know what this is
it’s what you’ve been waitin’ for, funkmaster flex
big kap, def jam records givin’ it to you, baby
yo, eminem, show these mothaf-ckas what time it is, baby!

[verse 1: eminem]
i used to be a lonely man, only mad
’til i got a million dollars, sh-t, now if i only had
some f-ckin’ hair i’d pull it faster than a bullet
out of 2pac’s chest before the ambulance came too late to do it
i’m tryin’ to grow it back again, it was an accident
i had my back against the fan and chopped it off in amsterdam
i hate this straitjacket, it ain’t latchin’, and can’t lock it
so they stapled my hand to my pants pockets
the cell’s padded and battered like someone else had it
before me and just kept throwin’ their f-ckin’ self at it
my head is achin’, i’m dedicated to medication
but this med is takin’ too long to bring me this se-da-dation
anyway, i got down with dre
the first man who taught me how a glock sounded to spray
runnin’ up and down the street, screamin’, “f-ck the police!”
when you still had your mother’s f-ckin’ nipple stuck in your t–th
became a role model after colorado
now all they do is follow me around and holler “bravo!!!”
h-ll yeah, i punch my b-tch
and beat my kids in public – suck my d-ck, b-tch!
i’m sick enough to f-ck a man in his face
but i won’t, ’cause you probably wanna stand in his place
so put a sock in it, with your fake–ss 2pac image
you f-ggots ain’t tough, you just get drunk and become talkative
i’m probably the awkwardest alcoholic talkin’
walkin’ like a midget with a ladder in his back pocket
so when you see me on your block stumblin’
mumblin’ a bunch of dumb sh-t like my drunk uncle does
i ain’t buzzed, i’m just high on life
so why on earth would i need drugs when i’m fly on kites?

[interlude: eminem + (dr. dre)]
motherf-cker! slim shady (dr. dre)
i’m drunk, p-ss the tec!

[hook: eminem & dr. dre]
’cause if i get locked up tonight
then i might not come home tonight
keep it movin’! off and on, eminem is on
off and on, dr. dre is on
’cause if i get locked up tonight
then i might not come home tonight
keep it movin’! off and on, eminem is on
off and on, dr. dre is on

[verse 2: eminem]
the whole entire world can sit and twirl like a whirling tire
i set a f-ckin’ girl on fire with a curling iron
psych! i’m just jokin’, for christ’s sakes
don’t get so bent out of shape
’cause i went out and raped six girlfriends
some people just don’t get it
but i won’t let it upset me, ’cause they don’t know better
they don’t know what the f-ck it’s like to be so fed up
and fed so many uppers you’re down and won’t get up
my mind’s got a mind of its own
sometimes i can’t find it at home
it hides in the stove (h-llo, where you at?)
sh-t, talk about your brain being baked
my sh-t’s still in the oven on 480 degrees
hailie jade, daddy loves you, baby
don’t ever tell me how to raise my daughter – f-ck you, lady!
you critics wanna criticize but couldn’t visualize
individuals lives through a criminal’s eyes
the neighborhood that i grew up in, you could die for nothin’
and dirty dozen watches over me so try some dumb sh-t
i’ll have a f-ckin’ man raped with a band-aid
over his mouth and shove his head in a fan blade
don’t ever tell me what i can and what i can’t say
or change ’cause of the age range in my fan base
like i give a f-ck who’s buyin’ this sh-t
quit f-ckin’ buyin’ it! i’m tired, b-tch, i’m dyin’ to quit
hip-hop is universal now, it’s all commercial now
it’s like a circle full of circus clowns up in the circuit now
but now the white kids like it, so they tell me i can buy it
but as soon as i get on the mic it’s like the night gets silent
either that or booed, that’s why i keep an att-tude
and go to sleep with it and wake up with it every afternoon
i’m sick of being judged, f-ck it, let me see a judge
i’ll confess to every murder i committed since three years old

[hook: eminem & dr. dre]
’cause if i get locked up tonight
then i might not come home tonight
keep it movin’! off and on, eminem is on
off and on, dr. dre is on

[outro: dr. dre]
f-ck that, turn that sh-t off!
let’s get the f-ck out of here!
you know how we do! {echo}

- funkmaster flex lyrics

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