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future idiots - this isn't d&d lyrics

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it was a roll of the dice and suddenly i met her eyes
her imaginary beauty peaked at charisma 19
she had the body of an angel and i had sworn to slay the beast
one perfect roll then my love fluids would finally be released
i raised my sword towards the sky
milady i’ll save your -ss tonight
i’ll break your bonds, i’ll set you free it’s my destiny

i f-cking fumbled it’s an extraneous 5% risk
i rolled a 20 on a d20 are you f-cking kidding me?
i could have saved her
and the beautiful princess would have been mine
i rolled a 20 on a d20 it’s black magic and sorcery

when i look back on this quest my thoughts go out to all of the rest
of my friends that lost their lives when we ran into the troll horde
we knew we were outnumbered, but we had better sk!lls and eq
we had a wizard, thief and warrior, a ranger and a healer too

they raised their swords towards the sky
without a single thought they were gonna die
and then they charged with battle cries into the fight

they f-cking fumbled. it’s an extraneous 5% risk
a bunch of 20’s on their d20s. are you f-cking kidding me?
we could have slain them
but i had to flee and leave my friends behind
a bunch of 20’s on their d20s, it’s black magic and sorcery

this isn’t d&d. it’s trudvang chronicles
but even if it was the outcome would have been reversed
these words are metaphoric and they’re simply symbolic for murphy’s law

- future idiots lyrics

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