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fyystar - de profundis lyrics

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it’s 4 am, i cannot go to sleep
trying not to go off the deep
but really what’s that even mean

i’m just tryna stay alive
but just existence isn’t living less you take the risk to die
you cannot let fear rule your life

what a b-tch
life’s some sh-t
could waste my life to get more rich
with screaming voices in my head
telling me i won’t be sh-t and for what?
approval?

truthful, i’d rather be frugally useless, known posthumously
rather than let society decide to tell me who to be
unsuitably human
that’s the difference between you and me
i’m so brutally truthful

hate to show it
but i live for approval, yes

life’s just so abusive
leaves me wounded gives me bruises
nooses loosened for excuses since my youth i’ve been a nuisance

or a g*nius
and between us
that’s the reason i’m still breathing
i am unclean and beneath my face i’m nothing but a demon

will of f-cking fire
but my soul is like a snow man
angel fingered poet, how i flow just like i’m chopin
nomad when i romance
but i rep the f-cking homeland
take her on a dinner date
go home and f-ck and slow dance

times and seasons change i will be known like i’m the solstice
despite me being dead
i will always be the boldest
i’m the coldest
my opponents i leave broken
b-tch i’m soulless
scribbled notepads

still might load my skull with bullets
cause if art is just emotion
then exploding my coronal
on a canvas while i’m sober would be exposing all my phobias

i’m so broken, so misspoken
still my struggle goes unnoticed
and fear feels like an ocean
i’m alone, soaking and choking

i stay rational, can’t trash it all
despite it i’m still standing tall
i think back to the greeks when humans were happier as animals

and they fill me full of pills tell me to change
but i can’t
flames to ease the pain
just because i f-cking can

throw my soul to work
just for one f-cking fan

cause he who makes himself a beast gets rid of the pain of being man

and now i look at where i am
and all the f-cking things i’ve said
and all these thoughts up in my head
and all the times i’ve f-cking bled

i will live past my flesh
i will do this till next breath
till i’m the best
no regrets
at least not yet
hope for the best

and if i drink myself to death
i gotta remember
it’s all in my f-cking head
it’s all in my f-cking head

- fyystar lyrics

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