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feral the earthworm – hugging my demons lyrics

[sample]

“i gots to talk.  i gotta tell what i feel
i gotta talk about my life as i see it!”

[verse 1]

you know what i see?

broken hearts and bike parts. acoustic guitars
a little human in movemint just trying to shoot for the stars
but truthfully it’s hard
when your self perception is bruised and scarred
from verbal and mental abuse, but pain produces hearts- -
of gold. i know that i’m a beautiful soul
that’s why i try to disregard
the harmful things that i’ve been told
cause’ people overdosing on confidence
don’t conform to molds
and tuxedo penguins, they’re able to find warmth in cold
so f-ck the world. i’ve got my middle fingers high
absolute self improvement
i’m doing way more than getting by
if i’m convinced, i’ll try
that’s how i built a bridge into the sky
and this is why, my dreams’ll never get sick and die
i’m pretty thankful for everything mother put me through
i’m also thankful for every female who hurt me too
i’m thankful for every sh-tty teacher and my bullies

cause’ pain?
made me the man i am and i’m thankful for it.  truly…

[bridge]

been holding on to pain. i admit it. it’s true
been doing it for years but you know what? i forgive me too

[verse 2]

that can be the most difficult phrase to say
but i refuse to let this optimism waste away
i used to use the word hate probably like everyday
the rage in me is crazy but i choose to behave a different way
cause’ i could probably play the victim card until i don’t exist
but if i did? on my deathbed? i know i’d wish
that i’d been different, it’s human nature. we all resist
improvement is almost counter-intuitive but to bloom is bliss.  sit-ups are difficult but skittles taste amazing
and over dream chasing most are just procrastinating
do that sh-t today. no more forever waiting
if you don’t live a life fulfilled the effects could be devastating
i know without a doubt that this is all i want to do
skate, travel, edit videos, and say these rhymes to you
it’s easy to romanticize. and lots of people try to follow
not respecting the sacrifices needed and they get swallowed
this isn’t simple. you’ll spend a lot of years impoverished
would you trade forty thousand hours
for a style that’s flawless?
i know that college will get you profits and lots of cheese
but hip hop scholars rarely get dollars for their philosophies

[chrous]

so i’m lettin’ my baggage go
my job is hard enough and all the hate just makes me slow
i can’t be broke and p-ssed off at the same time
i know that there is only now
it’s not too late to change my mind

[final verse]

so mom, your drug addiction deeply influenced my life
it was an everyday destroyer of peace, a nuisance to fight
but now at twenty two? i’m just grateful that you survived
when the world gets you down i want this to renew your vibes
you sacrificed a lot, endured problems i have never seen
frankly, you are more acquainted with anguish
than i could ever dream.  we make a better team
when we’re not fighting so i’ll keep this short
just remember what you once told me
at morning forest court
you said, ferrell…
don’t let it phase you when they speak contemptuous
their perception is irrelevant
i know it’s crazy but if you could just
be the ten year old me as i’m rhyming this to you now
and understand the m-ssive impact
that that had on me as a child
you might crack a smile
because self worth? is found within
and if you never hear nothin’ that ever comes out my pen?
just let it be that. just let it be that…
i’m so incredibly thankful you told it to me way back
cause’ i get very off track but confidence is the comp-ss  common sense will help to not get lost
or washed up like columbus
you used to pack my lunches and read to me, i’m so thankful  for the way that you raised me
because living a life that’s painful?
it’s like a gift from an angel
the pressure makes you stronger
it’s not of shameful to stand up and face a monster
so i no longer hold resentment, i pinky promise. we good
i’ll forever cherish when you pushed me on swings
at creekwood

[outro]

yep. and that’s my new reality
if you ever want to find unit – e
then that’s how it has to be
i’m not perfect guys, i’m pretty far from mastery
i’m not the buddha just a lostin’ texas rap-emcee

[chorus]

so i’m lettin’ my baggage go
my job is hard enough and all the hate just makes me slow
i can’t be broke and p-ssed off at the same time
i know that there is only now
it’s not to late too change my mind

so i’m lettin’ my baggage go

i can’t be broke and p-ssed off at the same time
i know that there is only now
it’s not too late to change my mind

[sample]

don’t afraid to be real
lotta people are scared to be too real sometimes
but f-ck it, just say what you feel
you’re an artist so just paint your pictures
the way you want them to be painted
dont listen to somebody else
or go off of the way somebody else is doing it

- feral the earthworm lyrics

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