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gareth richards - dave the fridge (live on russell howard's good news) lyrics

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[spoken]
the omnichord is a three+pr+nged attack on music. the first thing it does is the beat, the second thing it does is the chord sound, hey! now, there’s one more thing this baby does, are you ready for this? this metallic strip here makes a harp sound, oh yeah

[sung]
my friend dave is a little bit square
just like a fridge
my friend dave hasn’t got any hair
just like a fridge

but dave doesn’t listen to what you say
he likes to pretend that everything’s okay
and davе keeps things the same way evеry day
just like a fridge
just like a fridge

my friend dave is white
just like a fridge
dave doesn’t wash so he gently hums
just like a fridge

his light comes on when you open the door
you can only use dave for what dave is for
and dave at a party is a bit of a bore
just like a fridge
just like a fridge
my friend dave is cold inside
just like a fridge
but he’s warm if you touch him on the back
just like a fridge

dave’s dad is called eric and his mum is joanne
whilst travelling in east asia, their romance began
and that’s how come dave was made in j+pan
just like a fridge
just like a fridge

we thought that dave would always be alone
just like a fridge
‘cos dave is not very good at talking to girls
just like a fridge
but then he found someone to call his own
we finally met her when he brought her home
but she couldn’t quite fit into the living room
she was massive
just like a fridge
just like a fridge
just like a fridge

[audience cheering]

[spoken]
thank you very much, you’ve been lovely. i’ve been gareth richards, see you later, goodbye!

- gareth richards lyrics

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