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gareth richards - mum song lyrics

i’ve known you since from when before i was born
since i was a deposit not yet withdraw
before i was outside, i was inside of you
not nice to think about, uncomfortably true

you’ve told me many times the story of my birth
i was difficult to push out due to my girth
you said it hurt quite a lot and though mainly free from glitches
i made quite a mess of you, you had a lot of stitches

and then you took me home with my dad to our nest
you dressed and undressed me in a range of vests
you deciphered my cries as non+verbal requests
and i showed a lot of interest in your br++sts

and though i can’t remember, it can’t be denied
you must have done alright because i’m still alive
i survived it all, sore throats, chicken pox and coughs
and when you left me in the car with the handbrake off

you are my mum
a little wise, a little dumb
unaware of the way that things are done
this is a song for you, my mum

some things you did, mum, messed my brain about
you should not have dressed me in girl’s clothes just to try it out
when people came round you’d get out the photographs
and show them baby pictures of me naked or in the bath
and though you were aware of my embarrassment with nudity
you still made attempts to monitor me through p+b+rty
it’s enough to deal with starting to grow pubic hair and cum
without having to foil attempts at spying by your mum

and i remember the first time that you met my future wife
i was fully aware you had the power to wreck my life
when you started on breast+feeding, i almost had a fit
you told her i breastfed ’til old enough to ask for it

you are my mum
it’s too late now, the damage is done
it’s too late for social services to come
but i wouldn’t change you, you’re my mum

and the day may come when it’s me who cares for you
not nice to think about, uncomfortably true
no matter what, i’ll make sure you’ll never be alone
either come and live with us or we could put you in a home

and if i had a lot of money, i’ll pull out all the stops
i’ll buy you expensive things like yachts or lamp chops
but i don’t think that would change the lifestyle you’d adopt
you still love a bargain from the charity shop

and even though you’ve got the softest heart that really bleeds
you’ll still do your impression of someone with special needs
no matter what you’re still that girl off the estate
you still act 17 despite the increased age and weight
you are my mum
a little wise, a little dumb
a little bit posh, a little bit scum
this was a song for you, my mum

you are my mum
maybe the best is yet to come
now i see you care for my son
full circle now this song is done
this song is done

- gareth richards lyrics

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