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geoff berner - dance and celebrate lyrics

as some of you know, i was raised a jew
and actually i remain one, too
there are many reasons, they are not few
i’ll tell my favourite one to you:
it’s not what you think—it’s what you do

so what does that mean?

it means when i’ve lost all the battles and i’m feeling low
there’s an emotional place that i can go
does my god judge me for going there?
no
i’ll tell you what it is and i’ll start…real…sloooooooowwww…

let’s dance and celebrate
the misfortunes of people wе hate
it feels strange at first, but wait—
once you gеt it
you got it
and then you feel great!
when there’s people k!lling children in my name
and my guts are churning with the horror and the shame
it soothes me to contemplate—
so let’s dance and celebrate

for example:
old joe stalin for some reason thought
that there was some kind of jewish doctors’ plot
so he had some of them exiled
and the rest of them shot
he wanted no jewish doctors, and that’s exactly what he got

ok right, well

here is the part where we come to the joke
‘cause that’s when he had a massive stroke
people said “what’s wrong, joe?” but he never spoke
a brain specialist might have helped him
but he’d gone up in smoke

let’s dance and celebrate
the misfortunes of people we hate
it feels odd at first, but wait+++
once you get it
you got it
and then you feel great!
oh, schadenfreude needs no translation
so i guess i’ll take it as a reparation
i’ll take it out on a date
where we’ll dance and celebrate

when my girlfriend is acting all detached
and it feels like there’s no way to re+attach her
it helps me to reflect upon
the pathetic decline of margaret thatcher
ariel sharon! ariel sharon!
his death lingered on and on
ariel sharon! ariel sharon!
his death lingered on and on
and on, and on, and on and on and on
supercalimagilisticexpeetalimocious
i hope that stephen harper dies of muscular sclerosis
in a
northern ontario
first nations
reservation
health centre!
or just a ditch
let’s dance and celebrate
the misfortunes of people we hate
it feels funny at first, but wait—
once you get it
you got it
and then you feel great!
oh bad things happen to good people, it’s true
but at least they also happen to assh0l+s, too
sometimes that’s all there is to consolate
so let’s dance and celebrate

- geoff berner lyrics

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