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george carlin - more stuff on cars & driving lyrics

now there’s one more area of daily life which lends itself to keeping people alert.
and that is when you are driving.
anyone behind the wheel of a car has lots of opportunities to keep people on their toes.

and i don’t mean just blowing some guy’s head off because he cut you off at the red light.
i’m talking about subtle things.
like putting your car in low gear and following pedestrians in to the mall.
there have been a lot of talk as you know about this violence on the highway.
people shooting each other from their cars.
i don’t believe too much in that sort of an overt violence.
i like kind of a preventive violence in my car.
you know what i have in the rear window of my car, i have one of those diamond shaped yellow signs that says “armed pitbull with aids on board” and i’ll tell you even the j-ck-ffs are leaving me alone.
here’s something that is a little fun.if you are driving along and someone is driving along next to you in the next lane. you say, “pull over, pull over, pull over!” he pulls over, you keep going.
let him park awhile and think it over. hey it’s certainly none of your concern. in fact you don’t want to have anything to do with an -sshole like that.
here’s another little practical joke for the driver. when you are going through the toll booth

- george carlin lyrics

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