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george plant - genius on-line product catalog (a parody) - stress balls lyrics

preface

the g*nius user community was subjected to a lot of change in 2016-17. we were told that it’s progress and that all progress brings change. that may be true, but then not all change brings progress. some of the changes we experienced were scary. poking a little fun at those things can make them a little less scary, and that’s the purpose of this parody; a way to get a little laugh and a release from the tension brought on by change.

the format here is an on-line catalog. it’s filled with revenue-generating ideas for g*nius-the-business. they’re absurd, but that’s what makes them funny. if the ideas make you laugh, good. but remember that g*nius-the-community depends on g*nius-the-business to provide us with the platform to share our love for music, literature, politics, sports and good fun.

the new corporate offices of g*nius.com feature dichroic material that splits white light into different wavelengths, creating the perfect metaphor for g*nius-the-business vs. g*nius-the-community.

except for those products that state otherwise, all purchases may be made by visa, mastercard, discover, or american express.
g*nius lemon stress ball

actual size: 3 1/2″ x 2 1/2″.

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! this soft, squishy foam rubber stress ball is just the thing to help you de-stress, and it releases a fresh lemon scent to brighten your day.

g*nius member price: $9.95 + $4.50 s&h
georgie’s reserve – g*nius happy fun ball

actual size: 4″ x 3″.

when a fresh lemon scent just isn’t enough, try this unique stress ball. also made of foam rubber, this ball contains an embedded mirochip that releases a mind and body soothing chemical over time as you squeeze it. developed by everyone’s friend, george plant, the chemical is not thc, and it is legal in every country. the chemical is completely organic, and grown in the fertile soils beneath mt. vesuvius. the plant has been used for millennia, dating back to the time of the romans themselves, and they certainly knew something about how to de-stress.

g*nius member price: $99.95 + $18.50 s&h

featured video: “money” by pink floyd

- george plant lyrics

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