geraldine quinn – penis envy lyrics
i don’t want children, i belch with gusto
i watch the cricket and i understand the off-side rule
when there’s a toilet around
i just p-ss on the ground ’cause i can
so let’s face up to the facts
i’d be happier if i were a man
now don’t misjudge me, i like to be she
but sometimes i feel something is missing
the t-ts are working out fine
though the general shape would not be my pick
so i think i’ll trade in the tubes
for an a-grade, highly-engineered pr-ck
p-n-s envy, p-n-s envy
well, i know you people feel the same way as me
so with one hand on your heart
and the other ’round your part
you know you’re never alone
when you’re a b-tch with a bone
virginia woolf espoused
one’s underwear should house
a flesh extension of one’s very own
so i’ll enlist the surgeon’s pen
for that curled-up little friend
with urethra down the middle
and pre-c-m on the end
from c-ck receptacle
to side-show spectacle
a scintillating socialite with stick-on t-st-cl-s
i’m glad of my womanhood
but it’d be nice if i could
display a hard-on, crack a fat and show off stiffies and wood
yes, it’s the ultimate joy
to be a ready-made-for-fun lady-boy
p-n-s envy, p-n-s envy
and no, it’s not because that b-st-rd ever left me
but i know he’ll get in a tizz
when mine’s bigger than his
i’m tired of being alone
this b-tch needs a bone
i’m still an onanist
with extra strain on wrist
no longer vulvic tabernacle
i’ll be a foxy chick with tackle
i’ll give girl power rants
with a bulge in my pants
although my ceiling is still made of gl-ss
but it’ll all be worthwhile if i get to f-ck a man in the -rs-
i’d introduce my ex
to unlubricated -n-l s-x
and the flipside of cobraphilic sodomy
then maybe we’d take it upstairs
see how his gag reflex fares
against the recommended daily dose of vitamin e
don’t call it bitterness
it’s a legit request
to be a well-endowed girl in every lingerie respect
i’d never abuse my rod
for an illegal prod
but i will probe with every digit, gland or organ i’ve got
wait…
that sounds pretty much the way i am right now
without the complicated surgery or livestock hormonal injections three times a week
and you know, my clothes are tight enough without a b-mp in the front
i think i’ll stay as i am
it took eleven years to break in this c-nt
p-n-s envy, p-n-s envy
well, it’s an overrated part of the anatomy
so come on, you don’t need a graft
to get your hands on a shaft
there’s plenty of fish in the sea
although most of the f-ckers aren’t free
i guess it’s back to the strap on for me
and my p-n-s envy
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