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glove and boots - the history of television lyrics

[intro: fafa, mario & gorilla ]
(g&b blog intro)
mario, we got a big problem
what is gorilla wearing?
that’s the problem. he came up with an idea for a skit and he’s insisting we do it
mehtamehtamehtameh
it’s identical to the famous vitameatavegamin sketch from i love lucy, but gorilla’s never seen i love lucy! it’s an amazing coincidence, really!
wait a minute, you’ve never seen i love lucy’s?
ehh
we’re talking you’ve never seen that show. don’t you watch television?
meh
you missed out on a lot of great entеrtainment over the last 60 yеars, gorilla
mehtamehtamehtameh!
okay, we gotta stop this. mario, go get your rod serling outfit
my what?
just go get it. i got an idea

[part 1 (the twilight zone): mario]
imagine if you will, a show so strange, that it shouldn’t come first
because all our other shows are in order
but not this one
this is the twilight zone

[part 2 (the lone ranger): fafa, mario & both]
now we begin in 1949
with our first show that we are here to talk about!
it was great! it had guns! and their horse!
it took place in the west. it was really the best
and it had tonto. and his name was the lone ranger!
[part 3 (i love lucy): mario]
lucille ball married desi arnaz
but they slept in separate beds
because it was 1950!

[part 4 (the little rascals): fafa]
oh, you sweet child actors, you all turn out so bad
but i can’t help wishing that buckwheat was my dad!

[part 5 (alfred hitchc+ck presents): gorilla]
meh

[part 6 (leave it to beaver): fafa & mario]
this was the tale of a little boy
and beaver was his name!
he told no lies and he loved his mom
and everyone thought he was lame!

[part 7 (peter gunn): fafa]
forgettable show
with a great theme song

[part 8 (bonanza): mario]
this was a western that’s set in lake tahoe
there were lots of characters, but i only remember joe!
[part 9 (the flintstones): fred flintstone & fafa]
yeeeeeeeee+abba dabba doo!
gleason, jackie gleason
they ripped you off and made this show!

[part 10 (my three sons): mario & fafa]
there are three sons!
there are three sons!
and then there’s dad
who had three sons!

[part 11 (the d+ck van dyk+ show): mario]
the guy from mary poppins
got married to mary
but not to mary poppins
i mean tyler moore!

[part 12 (bewitched): fafa]
(tap dancing noises)

[part 13 (secret agent): johnny rivers]
secret agent man!
secret…

[part 14 (the munsters): fafa]
this is a show about monsters!
the only one of its…
[part 15 (the addams family): fafa]
…kind
(snap snap)

[part 16 (i dream of jeannie): mario]
this show’s about the genie
who looks good in a bikini
that’s why this is my favorite show!

[part 17 (star trek): gorilla]
meh meeeeeeeeeeeh! meh meh meh meh meeeeh!
meh meh meeeeeeeeeeh! meh meh meh meh meeeeh!

[part 18 (batman)]
(batman transition sound effect)

[part 19 (mission: impossible): male agent & mario]
good morning, mr. mario. your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to not freak out. this tape will self+destruct in 2 seconds
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa+
(boom)

[part 20 (hawaii five+o): fafa]
it’s set in hawaii
and it’s about five o’s
and that’s why the show’s called
hawaii five+o!

[part 21 (all in the family): mario, fafa & both]
the crazy things that archie said…
i’ll bake it in the nicest way!
can’t believe this got airplay
those were the days!

[part 22 (sanford and son): mario & fafa]
son and sanford
made their living selling trash
won’t you check out
lamont’s 70’s moustache?

[part 23 (happy days): pratt & mcclain]
sunday, monday, happy days!
tuesday, wednesday, happy days!
thursday, friday, happy days!

[part 24 (wonder woman): fafa, chorus & mario]
linda carters fought as… (wonder woman!)
i’m in love with… (wonder woman!)

[part 25 (welcome back, kotter): mario & fafa]
a nice teacher tried to teach kids like john travolta
john was too dumb to learn!

[part 26 (three’s company): joe raposo, mario & mario & fafa]
come and knock on our door
jack is behind the door!
been waiting for you
won’t come out of the loo, but eventually…
susanne somers quit
and the ropers did too!

[part 27 (dallas): gorilla]
meh meeeeh, meh meeeeh
meh meeeh meh meh meeeh meh
meh meh meh+
(gets shot in the chest by a gun)
meeeeeeh!

[part 28 (the dukes of hazzard): waylon jennings, mario & waylon jennings & fafa]
just the good ol’ boys
they were good ol’ boys
never meanin’ no harm
uncle jesse’s their dad
beats all you never saw
been in trouble with the law
since the day they was born

[part 29 (the facts of life): mario & mario & fafa]
you take four girls, you take a hag
you add a house and there you have
the facts of life, the facts of life!

[part 30 (the a+team): fafa]
i’m hannibal!
now i’m face!
now i’m murdock!
now i’m mr t!

[part 31 (the cosby show): mario]
[?]
come dance with your dad!
[?]

[part 32 (the simpsons): mario & fafa]
this show came out in 1990
and it will never end!

- glove and boots lyrics

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