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godley and creme - the problem lyrics

if a man, a, who weighs 11 stone leaves from his home at 8:30 in the
morning in a car whose consumption is 16.25 mpg at an average speed of 40
m.p.h. to his office which is 12 miles away. and he stops for a coffee on
the way for 15 minutes and also puts air in one of his tyres which has a
slow puncture letting out air at a rate of 2 lbs per square inch per mile
travelled when the car is moving at 32 m.p.h. and he picks up a hitch-hiker
b who weighs 14 stone plus suitcase but hitch-hiker b who is a political
activist distributes leaflets from his suitcase each of which weigh an
ounce at the scale of 2 leaflets per person at every bus stop and every
vehicle on either side of them at every red traffic light during the
journey which includes 20 bus stops with an average of 6 people per stop 5
lorries each with a p-ssenger one of which exchanged a yorkie bar weighing
an ounce for 12 of the leaflets and 2 coaches each containing 51 people 7
of which from one coach returned the leaflets and 16 people from the other
coach who asked for a further leaflet each for a member of one of their
families -ssuming that man a then had to travel a further 2.86 miles out of
his way to drop off hitch-hiker b how late would man a be in arriving at
the office by 9:30 a.m.? if he still had 6 miles to travel and his watch
was running 23 minutes slow but the clock at the office was running 2
minutes faster than his was in fact 17 minutes and 3 secs ahead of the
correct time which was 2:30 in the morning in caracas if when 5 miles from
the office he telephoned his boss to apologize for being late but was told
by his boss c to pick up a package 2.63 miles away from his present
location and deliver it to client d in bristol by train, by 4:30 that
afternoon and at the same time man d was mistakenly told to come to london
to receive same package from man a now man a’s train, train 1, left 30
mins. late but man d’s train, train 2, left 5 mins early so when the trains
p-ssed each other train 1 was travelling at 75 m.p.h. to make up for lost
time and train 2 was travelling at 52 m.p.h. would man a reach bristol
earlier or later according to his watch which was now running 5 mins.
slower than man d’s would have been had he not got off the train and
checked the correct time at a station between bristol and london and
stopped to phone a’s boss, man c to double check a would be there to meet
him and discover his mistake catch next train, train 3, back to bristol
which unlike a’s train 1 which stopped at 4 stations on the way for 6 mins
each stop was an express train d’s train caught up with a’s train 1 4 miles
from bristol as the trains drew alongside each other a’s train was
travelling at 12 m.p.h. and d’s train was travelling at 13.6 m.p.h. and man
a was sat in the front how long would it take to fill the bath?

- godley and creme lyrics

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