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goldie lookin chain - dog porn lyrics

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adam: is that boy b-lls going off on one again? look, son, i told you before. it’s all lies. don’t f-k’n listen to ’em clarts

let me tell you a story about a mate of mine
you’ll have to bear with me i’ve had a bottle of wine
his name’s adam hussain and he’s really alright
he sh-gged a mongo in his car, late one night

it was some time back in late ’83
benny blanco was his name and he came round to tea
he made his excuses and went to the bog
xain found him outside, sh-gging the dog

he’s never been the same since that summer’s day
he lost his f-k’n head and thought he was gay
we soon brought him round with a big fat blunt
then we showed him some pictures of a dripping c-nt

dunlop. greenflash. 13.99.
dunlop. greenflash. they calls it lsd and it’s f-k’n wicked man

if you need your fix, you know where to go
get on the phone to benny blanco
he doesn’t mind, even when he’s with a wh-r-
he’s the ‘port’s drug amb-ssador

he’ll deliver to you, within the hour
in his patrick sh-ll suit, sometimes with a flower
in his collar, he looks f-k’n dollar
and his eyes are quite similar to the ayatollah

i first met hussain whilst p-ssed on a train
he was off to heathrow to catch a f-k’n plane
i think he had a connection to organise the draw
cos he gave me three ounces and a photo of roger moore

he told me a story about a bird he sh-gged
he took for a spin in a car he blagged
they pulled into a lay-by and started getting busy
he ripped off her pants and covered her in c-nt j-zzy

she said to him, “you really make me hot,
i don’t even mind about the c-ck rot!”
so he seized his chance and took a tricky brown
but it all went pear-shaped when he took a look down

there were loads of skid marks all over his seat
they were white leather so they’d be there for weeks
he blagged the car from his cousin in aberdare
and when he gave it back there was sh-t everywhere

adam: there may be an element of truth there, right? er, but most of it, it. it… it’s fc-king lies. i swear to god, i never done nothing like that before

eggsie: yous fc-kings knows it. i am a fc-king robot. is ams froms outers sp-ces. is ams froms jus-pis-ters.

went to pick a man up in my f-k’n car
there’s a rave up in wentwood, it’s not very far
we’ve got drugs and lager, we’ve been to the spar
house, techno, acid – there’s even a bar

adam got f-k’d up, off his head on pills
he got on the podium to show us his skills
he dropped his can of lager and slipped in the mess
and ripped down this f-k’n minging birds dress

this minging bird said, “you make me cringe”
hussain’ shoved his fingers up her minge
he said, “my beer goggles are on but you’re quite smart”
“come back to my place you f-k’n tart!”

she kicked him in the b-ll-cks and punched him the eye
he said, “you still haven’t given me a f-k’n reply”
she said, “you’ll never get me back to your place.”
so adam pinned her down and shot his man fat in her face

when i first met benny blanco he sold me the blow
after bingo at the community disco
he fingered, two mingers,
and was making girls sniff his fingers

smoked bongs and drank strongbow
went for a drive and sh-gged a mongo
he’s been bad, since the day he was born
and he’s got a huge collection of dog p-rn

adam: that f-k’n sh-t about sh-gging a mongo, that’s not true, right? are you trying to frame me, or something? let me kick some f-k’n sh-t to you now, right guys…

some of it’s lies and some of it’s the truth
i’m benny blanco and you got no proof
the dog p-rn sh-t? it’s all propaganda
although i seen some sick sh-t with an electric sander

and a girl in a bikini called miranda
giving it to a sh-tty dog, seal and a panda
went in hmv, to buy a dvd
of some oral s-x – b–st–lity

i couldn’t get any, i was feeling quite forlorn
until i found this tape of dog p-rn
when i got it home, it weren’t my cup of tea
but eggsie had to have a w4nk cos it was free

so call it the truth, so call it slander
but i don’t give a f-k cos i’m drinking moet chandon
i starred in a c-ck film called black mamba
and i feels like sean connery that film, er, highlander

i’m adam hussain, alright? if you thinks i been sh-gging f-k’n animals, you’d be mistaken, like. but if you f-k’n thinks i have, i’ll f-k’n sh-g you with that metal pig outside the market.

do… do you read me over. i am a robot. you f-k’n obey b-st-rd pr-ck. errr

- goldie lookin chain lyrics

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