goober & the peas - filler dialogue lyrics
[skit: junior, goober]
boy, that, uh, i remember when you wrote that one
because i couldn’t find the chord that would fit the part
yeah, those were the old days
and we ain’t gotta worry about that no more
and when i think about it, it gets me right here, right here
come here, come here, come here, come here
no
do you think about her?
sometimes
sometimes, yeah
somеtimes i think
she was so fair to me
and i was no good to hеr
no, that’s not true, no
i wasn’t anything good at all in her life
no, that’s, no, certainly not, you did what you could
i tried so hard to make her feel so happy, gleeful
you weren’t making a lot of money back then
wasn’t making the wages, wasn’t bringing home the bread
but you were working as hard as a man could be expected
weren’t ya?
waking up at the crack of dawn at nine o’ clock in the morn
puttin’ new clothes on the kids every year
and then, one day, the wife was up and gone
left old goob sittin’ on his rocking chair
fillin’ his eyes with tears and his heart with more and more and more and more despair
a fella came by with fancy clothes, fancy car
and a wallet full of dough
he didn’t have anything on you, goob
he was a jerk
but he didn’t share my love of her
me, i’m just, i’m just a bit
he only wanted her for one reason
you loved her, she’ll never be loved
and she would never give me that, no, junior
she would never looked me in the eye
when i told her how she felt about me
she said, “that’s a lie”
don’t, no, that’s okay
and i told her, and i said, listen, baby
this is your honey pie
nothin’ else you can do
talkin’ to ya, tellin’ ya there ain’t gonna be goodbye
i want you, i need you
i love you, mama, shake it around
but she shook it right out of town
and then i laid down one last time and dreamed about the day
you know, she wasn’t nothin’ too spectacular
nothin’ i ain’t had
she really wasn’t
and because you’re a buddy of mine
i wasn’t about to cut her down or say nothin’ about her
yeah
but she was big+boned
i am better off without her, listen
a guy my size can’t handle a woman that big, can he?
listen to me, listen to me what i say
speak the truth, go on
okay, when i tell you, and i want you to listen to this
i’m listening
from a guy who’s had maybe one too many beers
tell me what+
but not that too many beers, you know what i’m saying?
tell me
i am saying you’re better off
uh huh
she, this town wasn’t good enough for her
so she’s off in paris or whatever, wherever
with that guy
yeah
and you’re better off here
uh huh
in michigan, don’t ya know
well, she, you know, what did she ever do for me? nothin’
you know?
well, i don’t think i ever saw you so happy
when what?
well, you know
oh yeah, we had some good times
sure did
i think that’s true in any, in any, uh, in any relationship
that there’s gotta be a give and take
ups and downs
the ups and down downs, you know
that’s what it is, that’s what it’s all about
+laughing+
unfortunately
+laughing+
and you know what i mean
well, you know, and that’s gonna go with+
that goes without saying, don’t you know? because+
what’s that?
huh?
say again
i say that goes without saying, because
i can’t, i can’t, you know what?
in a relationship, it’s give and it’s take
i can’t hear a word
my hearing just went out
’cause i can see your lips moving and your t++th [?]
oh, my lips are moving
now i can hear ya, okay
my lips are moving, i’ll tell ya that much
oh sheesh
am i in tune?
yeah, i have perfect pitch
i can give you a c sharp minor flat right here
[?], tune to this
and that’s what it is
ah
see, you can’t hit it
this makes your voice sweet as a whistle
yeah, just some basic tea
and then what i’ll do is i’ll throw like two parts parsley
is that right?
one part vanilla to taste
no
um, and then
a little salt?
a tad, about a half tablespoon of salt
and that does it, that does it
maybe a full tablespoon, but just a little bit
and that makes you sing like you do
yeah, well you swirl it around, then you add a little whiskey
sure, right
and then you add a little more whiskey, okay?
right, and that’s why you’re a little tipsy right now
and then some tomato juice, yeah
yeah
i got off the phone with the record company, they want
they’re telling me this is gonna be on a cd
all of our tunes, all thirteen of them
all thirteen
and they’re saying no to vinyl
no vinyl
and i don’t like that idea, is my point
’cause i think with the kinda songs we do
yeah?
no justice is gonna be done
by putting it on some high class fancy shmancy compact disc
and i’m telling you that now
so you understand where i come from
boss hoss, shorty, and doc back me up
ninety+five percent on this one
so what are you saying?
i’m saying you’ve gotta talk to the top dogs, get this
well, you’re talkin’ to ’em, pale
this is ol’ goober you’re talkin’ to
oh, you’re telling me you can make this decision?
i’ll tell ya, i’m the one who generated this decision
i was the one who come up with it, and uh
the cd
it’s been decided, and my mommy made the decision
she told me to tell the record company
i told the record company
and now it’s come down to you guys
it’s filtered down
how old are you?
huh?
how old are you?
i’m forty+three, why?
how old’s your mommy?
i don’t know, she’s probably fifty+three, i don’t know
that doesn’t work out
i don’t know, i don’t know
well, uh
and nashville is nowhere near what it used to be
because in those days, people cared
people would care for you
that’s what i’m saying
people today, you go to nashville
and you’re wearing an old+fashioned cowboy hat
and people look at you like you’re weird
because your hat’s not, the brim isn’t pulled down to your nose
it’s not pulled down enough
it’s not pulled down to your nose like uh
you don’t have long hair, you don’t have an earring
you don’t have an earring
you got a clean shave
and that’s wrong
and that’s wrong, that’s my point
yeah, you don’t have a clean shave
no, i do
you got a nice+
i do, oh i have a clean shave
no, i’m saying, no, i’m saying that
you don’t have, if you were, this is
how did this get suddenly against me?
a hypothet+ i’m not saying it against you
is this stuff you’ve wanted to say, and now it’s coming out?
maybe some of it, maybe i’ve had a few too many
maybe this is the time to bring it out
maybe you should set that+
maybe this is the time
maybe you should set that beer down!
maybe this is a great
and talk about it
no maybe this is the time to bring it out
okay, if there’s something to say, please say it
okay, say it, i just said it
there’s something unspoken here, and i wanna hear it
alright, i’m getting an earring
+applause+
is she mexican?
+applause+
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