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grace abnormal - assimilation iii lyrics

alone again
door locked tight still deformed the skin
it’s the coldest wind
golden light glint through the slender opening
i hold the key in my hand but i won’t go in
what if i
what if i don’t make it back
that’s the plan isn’t it?
it’s just one step then i escape black
so why am i so scared to commit?
i’m unconvinced i’ll be missed
i’m too distance from people close to me
the people i’ve known my whole life have always seemed so out of reach
chasing validation but it’s always just the make beliеve
i feel the pity in the applausе the pauses in the speech
just tell me what you want me to be
don’t ask me ‘bout my dreams
just want you to be pleased
i just wanna leave
i just wanna leave
i just wanna leave

life support beeping away
foreign illness in the body
can’t eradicate
something holds it in place
copy paste thoughts lining the brain
my thoughts a loop
my thoughts a spiral
my thoughts stagnant in sp+ce
looking down at the water
looking up at the sun
i’m finally free from the locker
my life’s already done
at the bottom of the spiral
at the top of the stairs
my thoughts tear themselves apart
my lungs rejecting the air
just let me leave
just tell me that you hate me
just tell me i can leave
there’s nothing here worth saving
you won’t miss me
you’ll miss what you thought i would become
blinded by your future for me
you ignored the present fall

i was never what you saw
i’m sorry that i failed
i was never what you saw
i could never walk your trail
i was never what you saw
i just hid behind a veil
i was never what you saw
i just obscured myself in fog
i lied in every conversation
i hid every single flaw
every thought i’ve had self hatred
every step i get more lost
how could i ever think i’d make it
can’t make anything at all
it’s all just mindless regurgitation
that masquerade’s itself as art
suicidal ideation
over a life that didn’t start
i’ve worn this mask for too long
i’ve forgotten who you are
i’ve worn this mask for too long
i’ve forgotten who you are
i’ve worn this mask for too long
i’ve worn this mask for too long
i’ve worn this mask so long i feel it wearing my face

i’ve worn this mask so long i feel it wearing my face
material fused into the skin
i disappeared with no trace
a puppet with no strings
i drift outside reality
stranded with the living
ain’t no puppeteer guiding me
forgotten in a sealed off room
trapped inside my head
trapped inside this tomb
struggle out of bed
in the end i didn’t move
morning sun comes with dread
i rot with the moon
i wish i was dead
but i could never follow through
it’s just one more abandoned dream
a happy thought that’ll never come to be
these suicidal thoughts the only thing in life i can’t flee
closed off from my family
partly from fear but mostly from shame
i can’t admit it but there’s something seriously wrong with my brain
“i love you”s mean nothing to me ‘cus i can’t feel the same
it’s all nothing
suicidal on that graduation stage
it’s all nothing
things that should make me happy just leave me drained
it’s all nothing
i’ve given up on finding my place
i’m a fake
i’m a fraud
i’m exactly what you thought
so envious of your flight
i didn’t feel my wings rot
claw at the door at night
like i’m not the one that made the f+cking lock
never told the truth in my life
it’s too late to f+cking start
i’ve worn this mask so long i feel tear into my skull
i’ve only just started my life but i know i’ll waste it all
fused with the lock have to tear it out to leave this hall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall
rock bottom but i’m still scared of the fall

- grace abnormal lyrics

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