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gregguevara - political compass rap lyrics

[totalitarian right]
hi, i’m totalitarian right
i’m the voice of the people (if the people are white)
don’t mean to get up in your face but we’re getting replaced
culture war now, let’s win this race

[anarchist right]
okay, uh, 15 dollars, right?
that’s 1 dollar for every year that she’s been alive
wha—ugh, i keep telling you, it’s not paedophilia
it’s ephebophilia! oh, she’s only 14? guess it is paedophilia
still, it’s one dollar off, right?
oh, hi! i’m anarchist right
i don’t believe in a state! none of this might makes right
i think market forces should guide the world
and if there’s a market for it i should be able to buy this girl
13 dollars 50 cents final offer

[totalitarian left]
ugh, you two make me sick!
i am the proletariat! you two capitalist pigs will get round up and shot
and i will speak for the weak whether they want me to or not
i am totalitarian left
my side is the best
i realized the last five times we tried this we all starved to death
but i have a really good feeling about the next

[anarchist left]
i’m anarchist left and—oh f-ck. this is not the place for me
how do all these ideologies suck so much? anyone want some dmt?

[anarchist right]
i’ll have some – ew, not for free
how do you expect to stimulate the economy?

[anarchist left]
okay first things first: f-ck you

[totalitarian right]
wha-wha, what’d i do?

[anarchist left]
second, you want to crush people through the state

[totalitarian left]
i mean, yeah sure, the state is great!

[anarchist left]
you claim to want equality but how can that be
when the state is controlling how equal you can be
and third: f-ck you!
and fourth, you’re not even an anarchist, dude

[totalitarian left]
you expect to keep the people in line without a state? please
at least the three of us aren’t contradictory

[anarchist left]
wha, this guy claims to be an anarchist but fetishizes cops

[anarchist right]
hey, if cops can be bought than cops are great
they’re only bad when they’re used as tools of the state

[totalitarian left]
ugh clearly you’re the side most deserving of hate

[anarchist left]
are you f-cking kidding me? there’s a n-z- in the northeast!

[totalitarian right]
i do not-see what you mean

[totalitarian left]
haha, this guy’s a treat!

[anarchist left]
what the f-ck!

[totalitarian left]
stop whining about tyranny, you’ll never achieve anything with anarchy
i only keep you around cause you shut their speech down!

[anarchist left]
there should be no platform for government or n-z-s

[totalitarian right]
ahh, the left goes again threatening free speech
i just want you to hear my important ideas

[anarchist left]
i’m not gonna listen to f-cking n-z-!

[totalitarian right]
i’m not a n-z-! that’s simply untrue!
though i will say, not a big fan of the jews

[anarchist right]
uh, globalists. he means globalists

[totalitarian right]
what? no i don’t

[anarchist right]
work with me here!

[anarchist left]
you’re clearly a n-z-!

[totalitarian right]
i’m more of a race realist white ident-tarian who believes in strong government
sure, totalitarian, but i don’t want genocide i just want an ethnostate

[anarchist left]
what if people don’t want to leave?

[totalitarian right]
then we have genocide and it’s great!

[anarchist right]
ugh this is why i can’t -ssociate with you

[totalitarian left]
agreed, come near me and it’s world war two 2

[totalitarian right]
we both know there’s a pipeline between you and me
and you seem embarr-ssed by how much we agree
and all you do is complain you godd-mn hippie
you think everyone can just get along
but the truth is ruthless, you’re ruled by the strong

[totalitarian left]
exactly, which is why we need to stop
this wanton destruction of capitalist rot
you send your workers to die in early graves
the working cl-ss are your working slaves

[anarchist right]
wait, what’s wrong with slaves? slaves are fine

[totalitarian right]
listen dude this is not the time

[anarchist left]
why do you think we need a state to do it?

[anarchist right]
yeah don’t tread on me man!

[anarchist left]
screw it. why are you like this, why you on my team?

[anarchist right]
oh, i’m sorry, did you forget?
everything you have is made by capitalists
it’s not a state. it’s cold hard cash
that builds your roads and feeds your cats
everything you’re saying is utter bullsh-t
it’s not a system of oppression just because you’re bad at it

[anarchist left]
it is! you perpetuate a racist system!
capitalism is colonialism! colonialism is racism!

[totalitarian right]
what’s wrong with racism?

[anarchist right]
please shut the f-ck up
there you go again saying i see race
how can you say that sh-t with a straight face?
the only colour that i see is green
greed is the only way to true equality

[anarchist left]
capitalism is destroying mother earth!

[totalitarian left]
you fascists prioritize human life under net worth

[anarchist right]
there the left goes again, calling everyone fascist

[totalitarian right]
yeah it’s very hurtful!

[totalitarian left, anarchist left and anarchist right]
you’re actually fascist!

[totalitarian right]
see this is what happens when you don’t have a state
everyone just degenerates

[totalitarian left]
that’s right! wait why am i agreeing with you?
your ideology’s k!lled millions! okay, true
but i didn’t mean it

[totalitarian right]
at least the people i k!ll are people i’m trying to
the only people that you k!ll, is you!

[totalitarian left]
says the person who’s hero put a bullet through his brain
c’mere fascist sc-m feel some communist pain!

[centrist]
guys, guys, centrist here
all of this extremism is causing me fear
isn’t there something everyone can just find together and agree on?

[totalitarian right]
not with them, they are the first to go!

[anarchist left]
i’m not “engaging in discourse” with these people

[anarchist right]
there’s no way i’m getting along with them!

[centrist]
come on, there must be something
i mean think about it, the supporters of all of you guys have anime profile pictures

[totalitarian right]
that’s degenerate! but, yes they do

[centrist]
see, isn’t that enough to bond the four of you?

[anarchist left]
get out of here you neoliberal sc-m!

[totalitarian right]
yeah, go preach peace to someone!

[anarchist right]
i bet this cuck watches mainstream news!

[totalitarian right, totalitarian left, anarchist left and anarchist right]
who the f-ck watches mainstream news?

[totalitarian left]
wait, you guys hate the centrists too?

[anarchist right]
i thought it was just me that thought that centrists were sh-t

[totalitarian right, totalitarian left, anarchist left and anarchist right]
but i guess we all hate the moderates!

[totalitarian left]
you all still get the bullet though

[totalitarian right]
can we get the gas chambers prepared for these three?

[anarchist left]
i will bash all of your skulls in

[anarchist right]
i keep telling you, it’s ephebophilia!

[totalitarian right]
we should commit genocide

[anarchist left]
we should not do that?

[centrist]
they both make such compelling arguments

- gregguevara lyrics

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