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gregory nichols – the deeper the shade lyrics

[intro: gregory nichols]

hold up, bring that sh+t in (uh)
people die everyday, people die anonymous
people die everyday, people die fond of this
people die everyday, people die lonely
people die everyday, will you be my homie? (god!?) (uh)

[act i “if today is my last tomorrow”: gregory nichols]

if today is my last tomorrow, then i truly died yesterday
i flew away into oncoming traffic because baby greg is not doing well enough to even okay
a platinum album advance or even a chance to wether withstand the flailing hands of screaming fans that would proudly bounce with me from nashville straight to j+pan
life, though i understand, why it has dealt me a bad hand has never felt less to me
baby greg is steady on the sidelines seeing y’all scope each other with jealousy
though definitely won’t remember me because i never got into the middle of these capitalistic rat races that saw me k!ll off my folks for the blue face or any amount of celebrity
so i could grow up and be silly just like your b+tch ass
why the f+ck would i ever try to minimize the hard work you put in this lifetime to only feel last?
now who gets the laugh when it’s the clown who’s been the one that’s painting the masks?
my depression in regression would make any denomination or faith ready to blast
they d+mn self, my hands welt, from beating myself to death
baby greg, twice raped, once bitten is ready to k!ll these b+tches hisself
ain’t a soul out here i’m trying to impress with this rappin, because it helps
me to calm myself, realign myself, revisions, i have felt
this is why, g turnt c. benoit
maybe i’ll speak to god mourning, i never felt the “o” and “r”, but rather the “u” “n” “i”
aspects of lonely life, cause baby i could still lose you tonight
anytime a thought of me having a happy life comes around, myself, i’m ready to fight
i would k!ll myself to will myself, cause love is the beautiful part the lap of luxury sent from heaven above, the sunny days, the rub
my window of opportunity opens and shuts easier than 48 hours to solve this case, like ole hero flo jo, good lord which way did she go?
up outta my lifetime, like scattered dreams and my lifelines, from sh+tty ass music collab creations that have they identities, only if they can bite mine
funny how i be steadily feeling a fall off approaching my contemporaries because all y’all is just chasing these hotlines on hot lines, ain’t got time
to even just waste my breath on voicing concerns on days ahead because i know i’d rather be resting my head on samah bed, face red, but baby we be fine
but in 7 months from now i’ll be talkin that same sh+t, insane shtick, but now i gotta perform this song for some crazed kids

[interlude 1: unknown cousin & gregory nichols]

aight y’all, so tonight we gone talk about problems
how many of y’all feel like, uh, y’all in y’all lifetime have had, problems?
“hurry!”
(tell them why you’re really mad)
“i won’t trust y’all!”
(tell them, let em’ know)
“be safe, n+gga! n+gga! stop!”
(be a man..)

[intro to act ii : gregory nichols]

“i won’t trust y’all! n+ggas, be safe!”
“hurry!”
“n+gga, n+gga, stop!”
“i’m sick!”
“hurry!”
“i’m sick, i’m sick!”
“hurry!”
“you hurt my n+gga! not again”
(if you’re gonna save me, then save me)
(yeah)

[act ii “1000 degrees”: gregory nichols]

i ain’t done, b+tch, i ain’t done, i ain’t done at all
done done it all except say what’s wrong, think i’m finna fall
right through the center of the earth, that’s my curtain call
the crown is getting way too f+cking tiny cause your head ain’t small
feel like i’m just biggie smalls, ready to die and y’all don’t even call
don’t give a f+ck about me, unless i spot you at the mall (yes!)
now it’s awkward, real awkward once no feelings is involved
can’t give a good godd+mn ’bout how i feel or what i’m called
and you wonder why we still collide on reasons that we failed
but that is neither here nor there, my n+gga wish you well
on the other side of life, i have more crosses left to bare
more brushes with “big g,” more stories left to tell
for example, i was in the wrong with group 150:4
on plenty times they opened they minds, but still i shut the door
they tried to claim a friend in me but paranoia grows
united through this music but i stand alone at shows (ah!)
i felt as if y’all hated me, mad that i was told
the way that y’all was brothers, as to you i felt i owed
an attitude of gratitude, but guilt is all i hold
i understand that i removed myself from the mold
in hindsight, my stage freight belittled all my soul
it left me feeling rawer than my monday episodes
if you feeling how i’m dealing bring your sins into the fold
never too willing in terms of healing this is “our” microphone

[outro to act ii: gregory nichols]

“hurry!”
“hurry, n+gga, n+gga!”
“who’s god?”
(god?!)

you know i hope i really end up being okay because, you know it’s a lot of people in this life that i do love and a lot of people that i care about and i feel like i’m getting further and further away because i’m getting closer and closer to who i really am, and i’m wondering am i even good enough to be around people? and, i just—i would love to apologize to everybody but i don’t really know the words. so, instead i think we could talk about—

[intro to act iii: gregory nichols]

(stop)
there are even lower levels we can go, trauma actualized is just the realization that you are not living the life of once

“yeah this a lil’ old song, umm—i wrote this when i was about eight. umm, yeah i was eight years old when i wrote this. let me see if i can, sing it to you. okay…one, two..”

[hook: gregory nichols]

and god, if i had your number, i’d call you daily you’re my best friend, i want to save me like you do, every time, i feel i need you

[act iii “r u safer than a 2nd grader?” : gregory nichols]

i wish i knew my that my dad was on them drugs
i wish i knew that my papa wanted my hugs
i wish i knew my lil’ cousin vic, would feel them slugs
i wish i knew cpr so i could save bugz
but none of that sh+t matters
no, none of that sh+t matters, not at all
so why in the f+ck would you insist i ball?
so why in the f+ck would you insist that one day baby greg could conquer demons and stand tall?
b+tch, your ass has got some gaul
pretending that you love me, i’m appalled
said i’m hard to love, maybe so, too enthralled
in visions, i envision with precision, after all
i’m just a crack baby on withdrawals
wondering why you never catch me hanging at the mall?
pan back to the trap while i’m out here gifting drawers
to mothers that can’t bare to face they children in the fall
wondering just how the f+ck we all
surviving never thriving, cause we never deface the lord
mom i’m sorry that i never broke the f+cking law
unironically sorry for feeling that i should’ve sold crack cocaine, i’m in awe
guess you having breast cancer still lingers on my thought of train
now tell me ain’t that sh+t real insane?
ronald reagan, crack done did its thang
had lil baby greg out here wishing he could hustle, rap, dribble, trap, or even f+cking sang
instead, i got a cousin that brought me pain
brought his girlfriend and then they ganged
little ole me while i hang
halfway off the bed, now can i name?
the people that done f+cked on me and touched me, guess again!
cause now all i want is seasons just to f+cking change
meds to rearrange everything that’s on my brain
but even if i die by suicide i was slain
an overweight child sent to flames
so how the f+ck am i to feel the same?
n+gga, i’m a shame

[hook ii: gregory nichols]

feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, (you gotta)
feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, feel me, (you gotta)

and god, if i had your number, i’d call you daily you’re my best friend, i want to save me like you do, every time, i feel i need you

[outro: fred rogers]

“and invariably, we end our little time together with a hug. and i know how tough it is some days to look with hope and confidence on the months and years ahead. but i would like to tell you what i often told you when you were much younger. i like you just the way you are. and what’s more, i’m so grateful to you for helping the children in your life to know that you’ll do everything you can to keep them safe. and to help them express their feelings in ways that will bring healing in many different neighborhoods. it’s such a good feeling to know that we’re lifelong friends.”

- gregory nichols lyrics

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